Dr. Judith Glaser, author of Conversational Intelligence says there are three types of conversations:
- Transactional, in which two parties share information.
- Persuasive, in which one or both parties attempt to convince the other of their point of view.
- Transformational, in which both parties co-create solutions.
According to Dr. Glaser, neuroscience shows “the persuasive mode triggers the lower, more primitive brain—the amygdala, which is prone to distrust and paranoia while transformational conversations trigger the prefrontal cortex in the brain and lead to trust, empathy, strategic thinking, and good judgment.”
The purpose of conducting a Transformational Conversations is to use a higher level of consciousness to connect to others during a conversation.
A Transformational Conversation will ignite the passion and creativity in others to engage in purposeful, mindful conversations that generate a shared higher vision for the topic being discussed. Transformational Conversations also build relationships, awareness, and engagement.
Not all conversations need to be transformational but when you’re engaging in an important conversation with family, friends, co-workers, your community, organizations or businesses, it can be very helpful to take the conversation to a higher level. By learning Transformational Conversation skills, you’ll be able to guide the conversation to a higher level. Transformational Conversation can build relationships, which is the basis of everything and affect everything. Relationship building can create win-win scenarios.
Awakening a higher level of consciousness is the basis for all the change we seek to make in the world and learning how to engage in a Transformational Conversation can produce profound new solutions to personal and professional issues that can’t be envisioned from the current paradigm in which you’re now engaging. Learning the art of Transformational Conversation can open the door to the possibility of a quantum leap in your ability to generate a wiser, more collaborative spirit and an understanding of how the connectedness of all things really influences your life and affairs.
Conducting Transformational Conversations
Because Transformational Conversation triggers a different area of the brain, it’s necessary to change our consciousness from everyday thinking to a higher level of consciousness before we begin the conversation. When you are able to establish more of a we/us approach, rather than, an I/me approach, a connection with higher consciousness is more readily achieved.
Transformational Conversation is a process that opens up your heart, inner wisdom, and purpose. With practice, it assists you in developing real understanding, clearer decision-making, and follow-through. When participating in a Transformational Conversation, the following steps are important.
If you’re planning an important or meaningful conversation and want to open it up to the possibility of becoming a Transformational Conversation, it’s important to know that the possibility of participating in a Transformational Conversation begins the moment you meet and greet one another – even before words are spoken. Body language, eye contact – both are important ingredients to the atmosphere that’s created.
12 Ways to Create Transformational Conversations:
- Create a safe, inviting, trustworthy atmosphere. Your intention shapes the conversation.
- Speak with integrity. Words do matter; they speak of who you really are. They can open doors to understanding or close doors to possible transformation.
- Be an authentic listener and demonstrate a willingness to understand.
- Mindfulness – you must be fully present in body, mind, and heart. Mindfulness is the art of listening and speaking from both your heart and head.
- Understand the importance of brevity when speaking or speaking too often. Remember, if you are speaking, you’re not listening.
- Stay focused and listen with the intent to understand instead of constructing how you want to reply.
- When relating a personal experience, be brief. A blow by blow description isn’t necessary.
- Lay aside your ego and the need to be right or more knowledgeable at the expense of others.
- Take ownership of your opinions with honesty and a humbleness of spirit.
- Asking the right questions is critical. This requires a keen listening ability and an undaunted persistence to create a space for transformation to take place.
- It’s important to understand that no one has all of the answers. It’s okay to say you don’t know.
- Keep your purpose in mind at all times; Transformational Conversations are a process, not a destination.
These are steps you can use to create Transformational Conversations but, if you’re like most of us, it takes practice to make the possible, the ordinary.
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