You are deserving and worthy of a happy, healthy and fulfilling life though you might feel anything but.
Most people are their own worst enemies instead of being their biggest cheerleaders. I bet you would never speak to a loved one, child, or beloved pet the way you speak to yourself, yet it feels natural to berate and demean yourself on a regular basis. There are many ways to become aware of and change these behaviors and patterns so you become much more loving toward yourself and begin to believe strongly in your self-worth!
It is my pleasure to offer you three easy tips and action steps to stop feeling undeserving so you can step into the happy and fulfilling life you truly deserve.
It begins here. When you become aware of your self-talk you truly can begin to understand why you don’t feel deserving. It can be scary when you start hearing how you speak to yourself. Whether you are calling yourself “stupid” or some other name for not understanding or doing something the way you wanted to, regretting something from the past you can’t change, or bringing a past fear into the future. When you begin to hear your self-talk, you may suddenly understand why you don’t jump out of bed in the morning feeling deserving of the life of your dreams. Imagine a child or animal that is being filled with harsh words and how they would act over time; withdrawn, angry, sad, depressed…not feeling worthy of love. Most of the words you say to yourself are not even your own. They might have come from a community member, teacher, spouse, co-worker or boss, a friend or loved one.
Use the rubber band technique. Wear a rubber band on your wrist for a few days and snap it every time you catch yourself saying something negative. Be KIND when you notice those destructive words. Beating yourself up for beating yourself up will not help. You caught yourself that is the very first step! Celebrate! Ask if you believe these words or if this is something you are willing to let go.
You cannot turn back the clock and change time. Give yourself some love and forgiveness for whatever it is that you feel guilty or remorse about. Only you can forgive yourself. You have suffered and beat yourself up for long enough. If you feel remorse or guilt you have learned from that situation and would now do things differently. It is time to let go of the negative feelings that are keeping you tied to the past and unable to move forward!
Ho’oponopono – This short Hawaiian prayer works wonders for self-forgiveness. Four simple sentences that heal deeply. I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. Saying these to yourself and letting go of whatever it is you have been holding onto can be very emotional and freeing. You may also want to write a list of things you have been holding onto or an apology letter to you or someone else, burn it in a fire to free yourself of those concerns from here on out.
When you begin to focus on what is working in your life and what you have the Universe truly opens up to give you more. I know, being sick for seven years I tended to focus on my pain, which brought on more pain. Gratitude was the most important factor in transforming seven years of illness into health in only three weeks. When I began focusing on the soft bed I had to lie in, that I could read to my kids even if I couldn’t chase them around – things started to shift. When I began to be kinder to myself I felt more love and was able to receive more love. It truly begins with you!
Write a list of 3 things in your life you are grateful for and three people in your life (past included) that you are grateful for. Focus on that list for 3 minutes inviting in all the joy you have received from the items and people on that list. Before you go to bed list something you feel grateful for about yourself for that day – maybe you made your family dinner, called a friend who was hurting, took a class, went for a walk, smiled at someone in the grocery store, let someone ahead of you in traffic. We have no problem beating ourselves up about one misstep but rarely take the time to congratulate ourselves and give ourselves credit for all that we do every single day that deserves gratitude!
When you begin applying these actions steps and tips on a regular basis you will begin to feel your life expand. Your self-love and self-worth will grow and you will know you are worthy of creating a life you may never have dared to dream of. Remember to dream big in all areas of your life!
You would tell anyone else if they deserved as much so it’s time to give yourself that permission and encouragement as well!