To find success in love and relationships, visualize yourself as a precious jewel.
“You teach others how to treat you.” How many times have we heard this advice? But it’s hard to know exactly how to do that educating in a respectful and effective manner. Or to make it a habit, so that we consistently communicate our expectations to everyone, in every situation.
Many women have no problem enforcing these types of boundaries at work. But in dating and romance, it suddenly seems okay to make exceptions for behavior that is poor form. Before you know it, his misdeeds here and there become a pattern, a regular thing. You may find yourself adjusting your expectations downward, to try to hold onto a man who is slipping away.
That’s not thriving in a relationship.
That’s scrambling. And women just aren’t at peace when we’re on our hands and knees, scrambling to put the broken pieces together. A man who loves you doesn’t want to see you like that, working hard and sweating and stressed. A man who loves you feels good when he sees you relaxed and serene, quietly radiating contentment. Every woman is at her most beautiful, in a moment like that. She is like a jewel, secure and protected. That’s the kind of energy that fuels a mature and healthy bond between a husband and wife, with both partners functioning at their very best.
But what about a man who doesn’t mind seeing you red-faced, struggling, working hard? (In fact, if your labor saves this man some trouble, he is perfectly content.) Single ladies, listen up. Because there are men out there, who want to be the jewel in the relationship. They have a practical approach to choosing a mate. This gentleman doesn’t want to marry his Dream-girl (it’s too much effort), though he may continue to flirt with versions of her on the side. Instead, he settles down with the girlfriend who is most accessible, accommodating, and doting. You know these couples—the wife who eventually looks like a worn-out mother to her handsome husband in his crisp shirts and pressed khakis. That’s a woman who may feel appreciated on occasion. But is she thriving?
You have choices. Instead of giving away all your power, you can take charge of how others treat you. Below are 3 ways to unlock your spirit jewel:
Gem 1 — Make it a daily practice to visualize yourself as a precious jewel.
This is not about turning back the clock, pretending to be helpless, or celebrating diva-like selfishness. Sure, I’m capable of putting gas in my minivan each week, and my husband knows that. But he still prefers to take care of this potentially noxious—and tedious—task for me. (He’s disappointed if he returns from a business trip and I’ve filled the tank on my own.) It’s a small thing, but relationships are made up of thousands of small moments like that, like tiles in a mosaic. When you pay attention, you can see the overarching pattern. With each interaction, ask yourself: how highly does this person value me?
Gem 2 — In any situation, guard your serenity and well-being as if it is the most precious treasure on earth.
Don’t take risks that could compromise your safety, your health, your reputation, or your peace of mind. Look surprised if your date asks you to do him “a favor” that places all the hustle on your side. A man doesn’t do that with a woman he knows is a jewel. Spend your time with people who view you as rare, scarce, one-of-a-kind.
Gem 3 — The yellow diamond doesn’t secretly wish to be a ruby or a black pearl.
For this exercise, choose your spirit gemstone—maybe you are deep and mellow like an opal, or cool and mysterious like a sapphire, and meditate daily on its special qualities. With practice, you’ll find it gets easier to turn away from people and situations where you aren’t appropriately valued.
You’ll attract others to you who appreciate YOUR unique beauty and inner fire.
* Please See Our Disclaimer Below *
Join One Ripple and help create a ripple of Peace, Love, and Kindness around the World!
Join The Wellness Universe on September 21st, 2017, in honoring U.N. International Day of Peace by joining the One Ripple movement. Let’s use social media to create something beautiful, together!