A Parent’s Love Never Dies: 6 Keys to Establishing a Positive Relationship with your Adult Children
Today I am sharing with you the challenges that parents face with their adult children and steps to work through these. Unfortunately, our adult children don’t always see this and often can be quite critical of their parents and parents’ lives without realizing the hurt and pain they bring to them.
Parents who have honestly done their best and still love their adult children immensely want to be a part of their adult child’s life without interfering or causing any problems.
Let’s take a look at the critical areas to address:
No one is perfect, and neither is life. Life is all about learning lessons to move forward to favorable and happy times. It is a vital key to a positive relationship between parent and adult child.
Remove all Blame –
It can be so easy to blame your parents or parents blaming their children for things that go wrong or haven’t happened, that they would have liked to have seen take place. REMOVE ALL BLAME!! You still have time to enjoy your life, learn from your mistakes, and take responsibility for your actions. Nobody else can rent a space in your mind or your life unless you allow them to.
Focus on the Positives –
It is easy to get caught up in the things that we don’t like or that annoy us. Most of the time you will find that the positives outweigh the negatives.
Stop Comparing –
This is a major problem when it comes to having a positive relationship with your adult child or vice versa. “When I was young I didn’t behave that way” or “What would you know (Mum or Dad), that was in the old days.” Live in the here and now. Remember that we each have our own path to follow; your children are separate individuals from you. It is the same when looking at your parents they are human, typical people like you!
Love One Another for What Each of you ARE, Not What you WANT Each Other to Be –
This is a tricky one whether your adult children are on what you consider is the right path or the wrong path. It is their path to follow. This is where distancing yourself and allowing their life to take its course may be necessary.
For a parent, this is very difficult especially if they can see harm coming to their adult child’s life or their adult child causing hurt to other people. The importance here is to still let them know that you love them dearly and that it is their behaviour that you don’t condone. As the parent you must continue to live your life positively and constructively, not allowing your adult child’s behaviour to bring you down.
Understand the Elements of Control –
One of the most challenging things for a parent to come to terms with is that, as your children become teenagers, then adults we lose control of the external elements that affect them and their actions. What is necessary to be understood here is the only power you have is with your behaviour as the parent and with how your child acts or behaves when in your home.
Setting boundaries about how you want your children to respect you, your spouse, your home, your life, and your feelings is what you have control over. Always remember that this works both ways, your children are now adults and deserve the same respect.
Life isn’t perfect, and there are many rocky roads. However, for each step forward you make toward – Love, Happiness, Empathy, and Understanding are other steps to take to bring you closer to building positive and happy relationships.