Change can be very frustrating and unsettling.
It rarely follows a straightforward path or linear progression. Full of stops, starts, and detours; it can cause confusion, uncertainty, disappointments and emotional turbulence. Getting a smoother ride through change depends on knowing how it ‘ticks.’
The basics of change:
- Small is good. Breakthroughs and leaps forward are terrific when they occur. But change is a bit of a slog, with one tiny step after another.
- Timing matters. Sometimes, we might do everything ‘right’ and throw ourselves into the process with 100% commitment. Yet nothing happens, nothing seems to work, as if we’re stuck in mud or have no wind in our sails. That’s where time comes in. Astrologers look to the stars to assess the right timing for taking action. Numerologists calculate numbers for the same reasons. You may not be inclined to that kind of thinking, but the fact remains that sometimes things move forward with speed and ease, and sometimes nothing shifts.
- Change demands you let go of the past. That does not mean forgetting or even forgiving. It does not mean to deny what happened or how it was then. It means accepting the current situation as the new reality and turning to the future with its different options.
- Change is active. Sitting at home waiting for someone to come or something to happen will not do it.
- Change thrives on determination and persistence. This is especially true when the going gets tough or you need to pick yourself up after a fall.
- Change boosters are flexibility, lateral thinking, being bold and using all of your resources.
- Change requires courage to go beyond your comfort zone, face the unknown, risk ‘failure’ or the negative comments of others.
A special tip for changing yourself:
External changes often demand that we also change internally. In many cases, such changes occur gradually just by dealing with the challenges. For example, while going through a difficult illness, many people notice in themselves strengths and abilities they did not know they had. But you can also intentionally manifest change in yourself with the following meditation.
At a time when you can be quiet and undisturbed, sit or lie comfortably, perhaps with a candle burning and meditative music.
Search within yourself for a sense of who you want to be.
Imagine or just think about that person. In your mind, see or think of yourself living, being and behaving as that person. What would you tell yourself, how would you feel? Imagine many aspects of that future you. Create that new person in your mind. Make it as real as you can, as if it already exists.
Decide on a symbol representing that new you. Some people choose an animal; others prefer a colour or object; choose whatever has a meaning for you.
Use your symbol in whichever way you find helpful. For example, put up a picture, write a story about what it means to you, remind yourself of it whenever you feel a bit shaky.
Use it as your own guide to the future you!