How a Young Man Turned his Divorce From Pain to Cooperation, for Less than $400
Jason and his wife had separated, and the situation was deteriorating with increasingly negative actions from his former partner. She was starting to falsely accuse him of some awful things and had taken money from a joint account that had been set up for their children’s medical expenses.
Jason felt that he had to take some action, but didn’t want the situation to explode into an expensive and painful experience, especially for the children’s sake.
I worked with him to explore options. We discussed personalities, their relationship history, their mutual friends, and what higher principles we might invoke to help end the conflict.
We decided that he would write a letter to her talking about their shared spiritual aims, their common community of friends, the future emotional health of their children, and his wish to work with her in a way that would be a good example to their children and to their community, and also that would follow their shared desires for peace in the world.
Jason worked with his feelings to get through the anger and pain, and started a letter from a place of forgiveness and desire for healing.
The letter brought up more wounds, and the early drafts fell again into anger. It was important that he used these letters for his own processing, and not send them until we felt they would be helpful.
After more release on his part, and patiently waiting for that process to complete through two more rough drafts, a heartfelt and sincere letter came into being.
This appeal to his wife’s higher values and goals, as well as the health of their children, was successful. The lines of communication were reopened and a working relationship reestablished.
They proceeded to create cooperation with their divorce and parenting plan.
Another attorney might have taken the lead of this man’s pain and anger and sent a letter with threats of a lawsuit. It could have led to thousands of dollars in legal fees and possible lifetime trauma for the whole family.
We were fortunate that he was able to move to a more healed and peaceful place within, and from there bring the situation to a cooperative resolution. This case may have developed to the point where the family court would have been needed, but that can also be done with principle and care.
Jason reported to me several months later that their communication was friendly and functional. He was so relieved. And, for just over a few hundred dollars, he was able to gracefully, quickly and heartfully bring healing to his family.
I have worked with clients and witnesses in a wide variety of law cases, mediations and negotiations in my 24 years as an attorney. I’ve found that an approach of compassion along with courage and necessary strength, is highly effective and healing.
When we can show up as a whole human being in any conflict: grounded, centered, calm, compassionate, clear, confident and empathetic, we can lift conflict to cooperation.
To learn more about this holistic, healing approach to resolving legal issues, benefit from Duane’s free Guidebook: 5 Essential Skills to Resolve Any Legal Issue.
Also, be sure to register for my upcoming webinar The Holistic Guide to Navigating Legal Issues with Calm, Clarity, and Confidence on The Lounge to learn how you can effectively, peacefully, and compassionately navigate any life legal issue or conflict and increase favorable outcomes.