Forgiveness, are you crazy?
I have heard the word forgiveness much of my life. But, I never really understood what it truly was until quite recently.
I heard many spiritual and religious people spout forgiveness and actually thought they were crazy, weak, and ready to be walked on. This is until I truly grasped what it really is, at least for me.
I grew up watching the abuse of my mother and of myself by my father and countless men. I fell into a pit of low self-esteem and depression that lead to years of mental health problems including addiction that lead to homelessness and almost being committed to a long-term facility for individuals labeled ‘un-helpable’.
I hated my father, the men in my life, life itself, and myself. Let’s just say, I was hate. I hated others that I met who appeared to have it all together, who were happy, and had made something with their lives.
I just hated …
This made my life and my outlook horrific.
I was a spiritual teacher and talked about all those things I was supposed to talk about. Positivity, love, happiness, etc., but deep inside, I felt none of it. My lips were just flapping.
After years of training in many spiritual disciplines, I still saw forgiveness for the weak. In my mind I thought, why would I condone someone else’s vile behavior. Why would I let them off the hook, so to say?
I have been studying shamanism for a number of years now. Finally, during a session with my teacher, it hit me like a slap in the face! I am not letting the abusers off. I am not condoning their behavior. I am not letting them get off scot-free.
I need to forgive for no one else, but myself. I need to let you off the horrible hate and anger for myself, not anyone else.
I needed to let go…
In my letting go, I am now experiencing a peace, comfort, and stability in my life that did not exist previously.
I forgave my abusive father, I forgave my mother for running away and leaving me with my father, I forgave the abusive boyfriends and others I had let in my life. I forgave myself for allowing all of it affect my beautiful daughter, whom I love more than life itself.
Most of all, I was able to forgive myself for everything …
If you are harboring anger at yourself and others, please, please, please, think about this.
The hate and anger you are carrying around inside your mind, body, and soul are eating away at you, not them. It is destroying your mental health, your body, and eating away at your soul.
Do yourself the biggest favour you have ever done for yourself, let go, become free, and forgive. It will be the biggest kindness you will ever do for yourself. You will finally be free and have wings to fly…
Forgive and fly high, your beauty will begin to shine and will not be squelched again.