This 5 Part Blog Series is a program to help you heal your broken heart.
Some people are able to move on easily after a breakup, but for many, it significantly affects their life happiness, and they may also carry the wounds and habits forward into their next relationship.
With 1.5 Million songs on YouTube about Heartbreak, with 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce, with 30 percent of those divorced living in regret with the numbers even higher for relationship failure for those living together as companions (according to to USA Census data and statistics from other Westernized countries) – however we look at it, there is an epidemic of broken hearts among us.
By taking each Series Segment as a step to be ‘worked,’ to be thought about and processed, this program can deliver the same relief and boost into the future that my program, Heartbreak Rescue™, has provided to hundreds of women (and men) in individual sessions, workshops, and meetings. While each Segment may stand alone, the process as a whole is what is important to release the past and live the life of your dreams!
Part I: “When it’s Over, it’s Really Over!”
Are you still listening for the phone to ring, hoping ‘he or she will call’? Do you hesitate to tell your children that the family will not be living together in the same way anymore? Are you afraid to tell your family? Does your mind fall back into regret, denying yourself the happiness of any given moment? These are all signs that Acceptance has not yet been achieved, or perhaps even attempted in the aftermath of a finished relationship. And it’s the most important first step you can take for yourself. 
Without that door closing behind you, the option for your mind to travel back to ‘what might have been’ is usually too inviting to resist. Instead of working toward a positive future, mental occupation is involved in re-writing key scenes, experiences or arguments, all to no avail. And yet, reaching acceptance of the break-up is the most important.
While a small number of divorced or separated people do reunite, the number of successful remarriages is low after 5 years. It’s extremely hard to go back, and when it’s over, the best attitude is to move on, for your emotional and physical health.
Take a deep breath and give yourself a talking to. It’s time to Release the Past!
We will do deeper work in coming Segments on releasing many of the core beliefs and habits that likely worked against the success of the relationship. For now, it’s enough to come to the point where you can say, “my life belongs to the Present and the Future. The Past is Over.”
There are many ways to do this, including EFT, NLP, Energy Healing, prayer, and so on. Below are also three simple visualization that can help move that old relationship into the past where it belongs.
*IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: When dealing with deep and often volatile emotions, there is no bravery award for going it alone if the pain is too much. If you feel very sad, lonely, suddenly unable to function, sleep or perhaps eat, these are all signs that a stronger support system is needed; please do yourself the favor of seeking professional medical or mental health help and it is my profound hope that anyone in need will have the wisdom to seek that help.
[A visualization is an activity wherein we run an imaginary ‘movie’ of our choosing in our mind, and it impacts our brain’s neuropathways, eventually changing the way we think and feel. It’s important to remember, in the following activities, as the fact of the end of the relationship is being affirmed, and the entity of the relationship is being released, that none of the good, none of the love, none of the wonderful memories are being given away, only the structure of your bond, affirming your freedom.]
The Beach Walk:
Picture yourself walking along a beach, having gathered a handful of small stones or shells in your hand. As you walk, toss a stone into the water every few steps, each stone representing a year (or a month) when you were together with your former mate or companion. As you toss the stone, say words of your choosing along the lines of, “I release Year 1 of our time together, honoring it as a time of learning that has now ended.” Repeat for every year you spent as a couple. At the end, walk a further distance, with the mantra repeating in your mind, “Now I am ready for my Freedom.’
The Burning Bowl:
This is a ceremony often used at year’s end to release the events of the past year. It works well for relationships too, and we don’t need a bowl. Begin by writing on each piece of paper a year’s or month’s number, representing the time together. Put it in a safe place to burn – a grill, a fireplace, a fire pit, and as you toss each paper in the fire, use the same or your own words to say, “I release this time we spent together, honoring it as a time of learning that has now ended.” You may choose to say “honoring it as a time of love and learning” or other variations. Make it your own. Afterwards. sit quietly and repeat the same mantra: “Now I am ready for my Freedom.”
The Imaginary Vessel:
Imagine putting the entire relationship into a vessel of your choice – a box, an urn, a chest, but make sure it has a LID. Imagine your time together as a Timeline, like a ruler, and run your finger along the Timeline gathering the energy, and with all your being, put it in the box and close the lid. Still, in your mind, take that vessel and put it far, far away – perhaps in the mountains, buried in the sand, tossed out to sea, sent into space, but removed from your life. Watch yourself walking away from the vessel containing the relationship and know you are walking away from that old relationship forever. Again, “Now I am ready for my Freedom.”
There are other methods of release you may choose to use, but the most important thing to focus on in this Step I is to complete the exercise. You’ll know it is complete when you can honestly say to yourself, “This relationship has finally ended for good. I’m ready for the next stage of my life.” Ask yourself how true this question is: “I am able to consider myself single now, I know the relationship has ended.” Self-observation and honesty are your strongest tools. If you still feel that pull, continue to work to release the hold – you can only heal your broken heart if your deepest self so desires.
This Part I is just the beginning. Close the door to that relationship in your mind, and you will be ready in the following Blogs to examine your broken heart, facing the pain and distress, their causes, release them, and examine your core beliefs and limiting thoughts regarding love and relationship. By Part 5 you will be able to ‘Future Imprint’ a life for yourself that will be your new vision of You, in your new-found fullness and clarity, living a life that is joy-filled and satisfying.
The best of luck to you all and stay tuned for Part-2 of this series next week!