As an investigator and trained interrogator, I often get asked for tips to tell if someone is lying to you.
There is not a cut and dry list of things that outright tell you if someone is truthful or not. Each person lives and operates under their own version of reality. There is no one way to determine right from wrong. On a Spiritual plane, everything serves you if you are in awareness versus Ego.
Depending on which school you learned your interrogation skills, we are taught to look for a “give” or a “tell.” A give/tell is a sign produced by an individual when they are offering a falsehood or lie. Your body is an instrument of truth and is meant to exemplify and project “your truth.”
Your body has a built-in lie detector.
In his amazing book Power vs Force, Dr. David Hawkins first introduced the idea of kinesiology arm testing. When a person is faced with the truth or what is known to be their truth, not to be confused with societal truth or societal norms, the person’s arm will remain strong against being pushed down. When the body it is faced with a known falsehood whether the Ego consciousness is aware of it or not, the arm will test weak and easily be pushed down.
When conducting an interrogation, one must be in the Now moment looking for signs of stress from the individual as they would answer a question. Some give/tells are physical movements such as tapping a foot, shifting in a seat, placing hands over mouth, looking down or breaking eye contact. Other give/tells are auditory sounds such as a change in voice pitch, a sigh, clearing of the throat, a short cough, a pause, silence, or a change in breathing patterns.
These actual give/tells mentioned above, in and of themselves, are not 100% proof that someone is lying.
Age, mood, nervousness, religious beliefs, gender, medication/drug use etc. can determine the way an individual answers questions more than the actual questions and answers themselves.
One article can state looking down or not keeping eye contact suggests someone is lying. It’s not that simple. Is this person shy/introverted? Has this person been abused? Is this person fearful of authority? This is just as important.
You must first do a “baseline” on the individual.
For example, an interrogator, before interrogating an individual, would if possible, conduct a fact-finding type interview first. This means that the interrogator would learn the natural answering rhythms of an individual. Also, one would try to have as much background information on the individual as possible.
In everyday life that we are constantly in search of the truth. Your truth and my truth do not have to agree for it to be our own individual truths. Determining whether someone is telling the truth or lying, totally depends on whether the person telling the story believes they are telling their truth even when they would be considered lying according to the facts or other people.
Investigators are not allowed to investigate or interrogate family, friends or acquaintances. You cannot be partial. When you have an emotional investment in the outcome, your bias may blind you to the real truth.
Now here is the Spiritual twist.
I could give you a long list of what to look for, but ask yourself, why are you sharing space with someone you cannot trust? According to the Laws of the Universe, you are always experiencing yourself through others. Your outside world and those you interact with reflect your inner world. If you think you are being lied to, it is an indicator you are lying to yourself. If you think you are being cheated, you are cheating yourself.
If you are attracting individuals that cannot be trusted, you not trusting is just projection and avoidance of the issue within yourself.
If you continue to ignore the fact you are lying to yourself, you hold that vibration in place while you create in the now moment. Another person shows up to take their place. Since you remained in the vibration of distrust, you attract more of that into your life, even though you hope that this one or this time it will be different.
It will be different but not how you hoped, because the message wasn’t received by you that it’s not them, it’s you. The lesson will come at you harder each time the lesson is not learned.
The quickest way to determine if someone is truthful is to unapologetically live your truth.
Only then will you know that the Universe is bringing you who you are! If you spend time looking for deceit, you will find it in abundance. However, if you look for truth, you will find it in abundance. You cannot live in deceit and expect this Universe to bring you the truth. Why spend your precious life Now moments focusing on something you don’t want, when you can focus on all that you do want. Focus on investigating honesty, focus on love.
One last tip, as an investigator, I never conducted an investigation looking for deceit or what went wrong. I always started from the focus of what should have occurred on a normal regular occurrence. From that vantage point, any anomalies or errors jump out at you with little investigation needed.
In my personal life, I simply let those who interact with me know that the truth always seeks me out. No need to hide anything. The more you try to hide it, the quicker it finds me.
When you live and speak your truth, there is nothing to remember or get right. Living a life of transparency is freeing.
As for being a mom of 5 kids, in the moment of truth, I would simply ask my kids to stick their arm out for arm testing and within seconds I had a confession.