Can we make peace with our shortcomings and fully love ourselves?
Why do we have so much trouble with our imperfections? It can be difficult for us to admit our weaknesses. Perhaps it is because we have set a standard of perfection. It may be an unreasonable standard, but it is an understandable one. Here’s what I mean:
We are perfectly imperfect humans, yet we live in a world that is constantly expecting perfection from us. We get the message from an early age that there is ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’ We go to school and take tests that have the ‘right’ answer or the ‘wrong’ answer, like spelling, math, and science. We work in the computer age now where everything must be correct, or we get an error message. We have jobs where we are expected to do our work correctly, or we will be fired. All around us are signs that we need to ‘get it right’ or there will be consequences, sometimes dire, to pay.
Given all of this, is it any wonder that we have a drive for believing in the myth of self-perfection? Because of this standard of perfection, we end up in conflict within ourselves, whether we consciously realize it or not. It is an impossible task. We can do our best. But when we make a mistake, it is better to recognize it as an integral part of life, rather than an aberration. We accept and forgive ourselves, and each other, and move on.
We don’t need to overcome our shortcomings.
Let’s accept that they are inherent. Let’s realize we are doing the best we can. We can strive to do better next time. For now, let’s not turn our frustration around our impossible standards and call ourselves ‘not good enough.’ We can make peace with our shortcomings through self-compassion and forgiveness.
A secret to happiness and finding peace within ourselves is accepting that each of us is fallible and understand the nature of change as a constant. We have the opportunity to begin anew in every moment. We can commit to being the person we want to be and have self-compassion when we fall short of the standards we set for ourselves.
If we want to ‘be the change we want to see in the world,’ we need to understand that we are the change agent. We live in a world where transformation is constant. We cannot bend to the changes in life without reshaping ourselves as well.
When we finally accept that our imperfections are part of us, warts and all, we discover our worth.
We find that the objective of life is to live it. If we are living for some impossible to achieve, yet the hopeful result of embodying perfection in the future, we miss living in the present, where all the real magic of life takes place. Forgive whatever you perceive your faults to be. Make peace with yourself. Realize that it is enough to live life, right now, the best you know how. There is no ‘perfect way’ to do life. There is only living it.
Love yourself like your life depends on it. Because it does.
Our worth was never up for debate. We were and are always worthy.