So often we get caught up in the stories we tell ourselves that we completely forget how amazing, badass women we really truly are.
We seek out validation from others, sisters, friends, co-workers, and lovers. We look to outside sources to remind us that what we’re doing is okay, that we’re thriving and are making an impact in the world.
Sometimes the way we view ourselves is completely different than how we are actually viewed by others. Why? Our brain likes to tell stories, that’s the way we, as humans, are biologically wired.
Truth is, as experiences occur, our brains filter information as it is received.
This receiving of information is consciousness, the place between reality and perception. Our perception is influenced by our past experiences, the pain, trauma, and discord that has occurred. The way we filter information and form a perceived reality that is true and authentic to us actually comes from these experiences.
For example, you will have a negative perception of a coffee shop where you broke-up with someone.
The human body holds on to the emotional stressors that are associated with specific experiences. Therefore, when someone mentions “that amazing coffee shop on the corner” your body will immediately react negatively because of the past negative experience you had.
The same storytelling goes on about ourselves.
All of us have failed in our lives at something or other. Most of us have had a negative experience that happened in the past. When a negative experience occurs our minds continue the story for many months or even years later. Consider sitting in a meeting where you have the opportunity to step into a new managerial role at work. You feel a quick sensation of energy run through your body and are just about to apply for the position, but you stop.
Your mind starts to tell you stories like, “You wouldn’t be any good at that, that job requires you to crunch numbers, numbers aren’t your thing.” You once failed a math test in the third grade and were punished for receiving a bad mark. It was an embarrassing experience that left a bad lasting impression on you. Many years later, you actually stopped yourself from applying for that promotion at work because of the negative experience you had years ago! When fear arises, our brains create stories to rationalize it.
So, how do we move past negative perceptions and step into our real true and authentic selves with confidence?
I encourage you to ask some of your closes friends and family members, bosses and lovers how they really view you. Ask them when they notice you are the happiest, when are you the most stressed, what are you absolutely brilliant at? What do they appreciate about you the most? These questions might feel uncomfortable to ask, yet I promise you will be pleasantly surprised with the answers. Ask multiple people that you are close to. Compare their answers. Are there any similarities? How do you view yourself in comparison with how others view you?
Resiliency and vulnerability are the keys to stepping out into an authentic life. Failure is bound to happen, no matter what. Resiliency is the ability to move past those failures without stopping in your tracks. Vulnerability can be uncomfortable, yet allows you to show up 100% as the person that you are without trying to conform to others.
Are you ready to step up to the plate and change the stories that run around inside your head?
Anytime is a perfect time to re-evaluate how you view yourself and become aware of the stories you tell yourself. Use your friends and family as a resource to bring about your real true authentic self. Do their answers align with who you believe yourself to be? It not, make the changes necessary to upgrade to your best self!