Great! The title has you curious, but I must admit, that although I am a gay woman, my “world” is not inundated with gay people.
Most of my friends and family are straight and my wife and I don’t seek out other gay couples to socialize with. We love our friends and quite frankly give no thought to their sexuality. So, other than their parents and eventually my new partners, my children weren’t exposed to many gay people. Yes, they went through a “gay” divorce. But it was and always will be our priority to put the kids first and protect them from the complications of a failed relationship.
On to the kid’s part; I’m a mom, 5 times over and I have 3 more sons by marriage. Together, we have six grandchildren (and counting). My wife raised her three boys mostly alone and they are all in straight relationships. I raised my kids with my former partner and they are all straight as well.
There is a myth, a fear in some people, that gay parents will somehow influence their children to be gay.
I would assert that it is indeed the opposite. We raised our children to be open to differences and never to judge a person based on their religion, sexuality, skin color, or any other variation in their humanness.
I would have accepted my children no matter what their choices had been. I would have and do, support them in their marriages and relationships. I’m friends with many of their friends, and when I meet one of their colleagues or a new friend, I am introduced as “one” of their moms.
Most of my children’s friends who I have met are like my kids, open-minded and accepting. They are fascinated by the method of my children’s conception and birth. They find it exciting to know that my former partner and I selected a donor from a book full of possibilities and we created little miracles.
We have always spoken openly and honestly with the kids and have given them information that was appropriate for their age, concerning their parenting.
For you curious ones, our first communication with them was at about five years old and was as simple as, “a man we don’t know gave us his seed to help us to grow you,” followed by lots of love, and telling them how much we wanted them as part of our lives.
Gay people, straight people, black and white, rich and poor, we are human and our greatness is in our commonalities, not differences.
We brought beautiful children into this world, and we have loved them into beautiful adults. My children include me in their decision-making and plans. They make me aware of the important stuff. I still receive “I love you” texts and hugs goodbye. You see, I didn’t and couldn’t share my gayness with them, but I could share my heart. I see the kindness they express to others and the empathy they feel for the struggling.
I’m proud to have taught them to LOVE.