In Part 2 of this 3-part blog series by Trilby Johnson, you will learn how to turn anger into forgiveness through a better understanding of anger. Late joining this series? Catch up on Part 1!
Turn Anger into Forgiveness Part 2 – 6 Tips to Understanding Anger Better
Remember in part 1, I said that the aligning factor between anger and forgiveness is you? I know it’s possible to learn how to manage anger by understanding the energy dynamic of this emotion better and changing perspective so that there is a shift in consciousness.
Anger is usually considered an unsavoury and destructive type of emotion. In other words, unsavoury is a belief that only fuels its often volatile nature. When out of control, angry feelings can escalate into violence and destruction and so frightens us. Yet, anger is an emotion like any other. It is when this emotion is misdirected or impeded that it can build up into something explosive and be expressed in destructive ways.
Many people are uncomfortable and frightened by anger, in a large part due to how we are socialized. Today there are many anger management courses available, which can help teach people how to manage this emotion. When we attempt to stop an emotion for long enough, by suppressing or repressing it, it is like trying to stop a volcano from erupting – eventually, it will blow up.
Anger is primal
As we saw when looking at what an emotion is, anger is considered one of the base emotions. So when we feel threatened or afraid, anger can often be an instinctive reaction in an attempt to safeguard ourselves. This is often what happens when someone ‘snaps’ or ‘lashes out’. So it’s important to address our personal issues so that there are no pent up emotions.
Anger is a secondary emotion
A secondary emotion occurs in response to something else happening first. Even those that apparently ‘fly off the handle’, there is something causing the anger. Now, this doesn’t mean it’s okay to go ballistic, be aggressive or hurt someone. To get a handle on angry feelings, however, does require self-interrogation and perhaps some time to cool down, if necessary. The particularity about anger is that underneath this secondary feeling, is your personal power and ability to be discerning. When you are in touch with these aspects, it makes you calmer and self-assured, less liable to allow yourself to be manipulated by others.
Anger can motivate you
Generally, anger arises when one of our personal values, self-worth or safety is challenged, jeopardized or disrespected. Can you remember a time when someone said something untrue about you? Did you feel angry? That angry feeling is a response to an untruth – a misalignment in the energy – and your barometer to let you know that you are not okay with what is going on. Anger can often empower you to say ‘NO’ and motivate you to take a stand and not let yourself be a doormat. When you are able to manage your anger appropriately, you have the ability to assert your rights in a way that leaves no room for doubt as to your sincerity.
Anger is not a sin
Often spiritual people can feel it’s wrong to be angry. As if one excludes the other. Whatever it is you want to call it doesn’t matter. The point is to be whole and fulfilled, you are going to have to accept and allow all of yourself to be. And that means being alright with the whole spectrum of emotions. None are more important than another if you look at them as messages. Every emotion is telling you something about yourself so that you can get to know yourself better.
Anger is contagious
Is the anger yours? Have you asked the question? Until you ask the question you will not know. Often we are walking around with unconscious patterns playing out. Research has shown that it is possible for us to pick up on other people’s energy and vice versa. If you know you are highly sensitive, an empath, or psychic, then asking this will save you energy and unnecessary stress. Give it a go and see if you notice a difference.
Transmute the anger
When you are in the grips of primal anger, the quickest way I have found to flick the switch so that you can stay discerning and express yourself appropriately is by focusing on your breathing. Stopping to take a few conscious breaths slows down the parasympathetic nervous system and so your brain stops sending fight or flight signals. I invite you to Destress, Detox, and Relax by getting your free download of my audio tool on conscious breathing.
As a species, humans have been given the ability to experience diverse emotions. Anger can be used as a powerful tool of discernment and also the potency to see things through. As with all emotions, it’s not only what we do when feeling them, it’s especially how we do it! When we take charge of managing and expressing our anger constructively, we will begin to find ourselves in a place where we can consider adding a dose of forgiveness. It takes a conscious choice to shift from being angry to forgiving in an empowering way.
Stay tuned for the conclusion of this series next week!