We all have a desire to be understood. As you move through your day, do you listen more than you speak? Do you try to understand others or try to be understood? Do you ask questions or wait for others to ask you questions? Communication is key in understanding, and communication encompasses paying attention with all of your senses. It includes focusing on the other more than yourself or on your next reply. It entails not guessing what someone might be attempting to express, rather it is allowing the other to finish their thoughts.
It is not judging, it is considering and accepting all aspects of others while working towards understanding.
To understand others, it’s important to learn about their feelings and thoughts as well as truly hear them. You may ask how they are feeling or why they may believe something. Or you may ask others why they may react one way versus another way. This helps to truly discover the reasons behind their actions, thoughts and feelings, helping us understand, which may also help them understand themselves better. Understanding others doesn’t mean we have to agree with them, it simply means we are showing interest and compassion. We are being supportive by allowing them to reveal themselves, allowing us to see their authenticity. This helps us relate to each other better with love.
Since we each have different personalities with different feelings and different thoughts, which cause different actions and reactions, we must consider all the differences without judgment. As differences are neither good nor bad, they are simply different. We all walk a different path and journey, learning different lessons, which are important for our growth. Plus, differences are great learning tools. Therefore, by listening to understand someone can be powerful to both of you.
Our intuition can be a powerful tool in understanding. Yet, with intuition, we must be careful as we may apply what we think and feel to others, which is a form of projection. Or it may be how we would act or react. If we are projecting, we are not hearing and is not a good way to have true relationships with anyone, including ourselves. It undermines the importance of the other person and their needs, and we certainly don’t want others doing this to us.
Once we better understand others, we can then start to empathize better. We can be more loving and compassionate. We can accept them without judging the way we think they should act, feel or think. We can love them without comparisons, criticisms or complaints about how they may be acting, feeling or thinking. This is their path and what they need at this time. This is where understanding through listening and hearing plays a very important role in our lives.
When applying this to ourselves, we can better understand ourselves by listening to our hearts and not letting the rational mind overpower what we truly feel. We can ask ourselves questions and dig deeper into the why, listening to ourselves for the answers. As thoughts or feelings arise, acknowledge them with detachment, as if you are watching from afar. Recognize if the thoughts and feelings are from your ego or from your heart & soul. Decipher whether the thoughts and feelings are your actual beliefs or ones you were given by someone else, which may no longer resonate with your authenticity. If you find you wish to release these beliefs, allow them to be truly felt. Once truly felt and understood, you can move discovering new beliefs.
The more you practice understanding through listening, the more you will know the difference between ego and mind and between your beliefs and actions, and those of others.
When we understand others and ourselves better, we can be more compassionate and loving towards ourselves and others. We can better relate to each other, having deeper, more profound and loving relationships. And, that’s what it comes down to…love. Loving ourselves and others. Listening to hear and understand each other, leading us to be able to fully and completely love one another.