“One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.” ~ Unknown
While not everyone is looking for “the one”, many actually are searching for that special someone – the one person who reaches right down into the depth of their soul with a love so great. A love they didn’t believe existed (yet hoped for) until now.
The problem here is too many people want “the one” (as described above), yet are convinced it is just a fairy-tale and a waste of time. So, they settle for what they think is attainable while deep down their heart yearns for so much more. And will continue yearning until they stop listening to their head and start listening to and trusting their heart to lead the way.
So how do you get “out of your head” and get “into your heart”? First, you need to stop rationalizing about your disappointments and discontent about your current relationship. When the right one comes into your life, your heart will know and you can trust that.
Here are 10 great tip offs that the person you are with isn’t the right one for you:
The “connection” is missing.
I’m not referring only to chemistry here. Attraction is only part of it. Couples who have found “the one” will describe a “deep soul connection” they have. If you aren’t feeling that, you aren’t with “the one”.
Incompatibility of relationship dreams and desires.
This is so important. You have to BOTH want the same thing for your relationship. For instance, you both want a loving, enduring relationship in which you share common values within that relationship.
You are unsure.
There is a distinct difference between having occasional doubts about the relationship vs. being sure the other is “the one”. Usually, individuals in great love relationships are very sure from the start and throughout time. If you really are unsure if he’s “the one”, then you may have your answer.
He’s unwilling or unavailable.
Okay, how many times do you have to hear, “I don’t want anything serious” or “I’m just getting out of a long-term relationship” before you actually LISTEN to what he’s saying? Believe him. He’s clearly telling you he’s unwilling and emotionally (or otherwise) unavailable. And he’s not going to change despite how amazing you are. Don’t waste your time or energy.
Signs of current substance abuse.
This isn’t necessarily a deal breaker for all people, as long as they don’t allow it to turn into a co-dependent relationship. Unfortunately, there are many people who get caught up in rescuing an addict only to end up in misery. Pay attention to your intuition with this one.
You question his feelings for you.
If you take time to ask yourself the question, “What are his true feelings for me,” you’ll get an answer from that small voice within one way or the other. If it’s not a positive answer, then he’s probably not “the one.”
You question his priorities and/or integrity.
You certainly want to be one of his priorities and he will clearly show that to you by the way he treats you. Additionally, he must “walk the talk” when it comes to doing the right thing – with you and also, within other areas of his life. “The one” will be forthcoming in what he believes is right – especially when it comes to loving you.
Lack of mutual respect. The key word here is “mutual.”
You need to respect him as much as he needs to respect you. It’s as simple as that.
He blames his ex’s for his unhappiness.
It’s one thing to share the negative aspects of his last partner and relationship, but quite another to harbor resentment and blame. He should take ownership of his part in that failure and more importantly ownership of his happiness (and so should you). Nobody, no matter how great they are, should be expected to deliver happiness on a silver platter.
He only contacts you for the occasional sexual encounter.
For the most part, there has never been a great love relationship that has grown from just casual sex. You are worthy and deserving of a man who will move mountains to be with you – outside of bed as much as inside. Please start believing in that truth. The sooner you do, the sooner “the one” will find you.
If there is one thing I want to stress here it’s that if you are willing to reach for the stars by being with “the one”, then you will. Release all pessimism and start putting your thoughts and energy into what you want for your relationship with “the one”. Focus on that ultimate relationship instead of the ultimate guy. By doing so, you’ll gain confidence and empowerment – not to mention a whole lot of positivity. And you will have partnered with your heart to reach the fulfillment you and it desires.
If you would like to learn more about “the one”, you can view my recorded workshop, “Understanding Soul Mate Relationships and How To Be With Your Divine Partner.”