Hi, my name is Kimberly Fisher Boone, and I just made it past my first year of marriage.
Like some of you, I planned my dream wedding, jetted off on my honeymoon and came home to a reality check. It isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but shared below, are some practical tips to make it past your first year of marriage.
Here Are 10 Tips for Your First Year of Marriage:
I think this has to be the most important point. Communication is key in any relationship. With how busy everyone is, set aside time to really talk, without distractions or cell phones. The first year is a transition period, so be honest with expectations, household chores, money, etc.
It takes two to tango, and sometimes, you’re not going to like the song that they are playing. As a partnership, you will have to learn to compromise (an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions) and choose your battles.
Keep Up with the Romance.
You’re not roommates, so make sure you keep the spark alive. Sex isn’t everything but it should be a priority in the lives of every couple. Schedule a date night and make intimacy a high priority.
Not to say that everything will be a fight in your first year of marriage, but it may seem like it at times. Remember to always choose love, and choose your battles. Fight fair and learn what works for you as a couple during a conflict. For some, it is walking away and cooling off, for others, it is discussing it outright.
Learn and Know Your Partner’s Love Language.
One of the best books ever written is by Gary D. Chapman called The Five Love Languages. It basically details that everyone communicates love in a different way, the different “languages” being:
- Words of Affirmation.
- Acts of Service.
- Receiving Gifts.
- Physical Touch.
- Quality Time.
Knowing your partner’s love language can make communication and feeling valued a more positive experience.
Do Things Together.
Couples that play together, stay together. It strengthens your relationship to have something special that you share together whether it be a standing reservation every Friday night or hitting every concert that comes to town. Quality time is key! My husband and I have a recurring calendar invite for Friday night date night. It could be anything from a theater production, dinner out, or a movie and takeout on the couch but I know it is time for us to reconnect.
Have Your Own Interests.
As great as it is to spend time with your other half, it is also important to have some time apart to enjoy doing the things you do. No harm in a guy’s day at the golf course or a girl’s brunch to catch up.
Don’t Get Too Comfortable.
Ladies, it feels good to run around in sweats with no makeup but remember that most men are visual creatures. He married you as you are, so make sure you stay looking that way or better.
It’s amazing how perception can change things. Keeping a running list of what you like in your partner or a daily journal of 5 things you are thankful for, will do wonders for your mindset, and in turn, your relationship.
Set some major goals together and put them somewhere you can see them on a daily basis (a vision board is great for this). So, talk about the dreams you have together, like watching the playoffs from the first row, or spending the week on a private island in the Caribbean.
What helped you get through your own first year of marriage? Anything that did not get mentioned above? If so, please share your tips and/or experiences with us in the comments section below!
Wishing You A Happy Marriage!