What are some common red flags to watch out for when it comes to dating? WU World-Changer Kristi D. Price shares some below!
Here Are 13 Red Flags While Dating:
A hard relationship with their family
If the person you are dating seems to have a noticeably strained relationship with their mother, father, siblings, or children, there might be an issue. Ask about their family values, how close they are to their family, fond memories of their childhood, etc. Dating someone who is not close to or at odds with his or her family might be cause for concern.
A lack of manners
He doesn’t open doors. She doesn’t ask before she takes a bite of your food. He or she is condescending to the wait staff, doesn’t dress appropriately to meet your friends or family, doesn’t bring a bottle of wine to a house party. These small things could lead to much bigger reflections of who someone is as a person.
An abusive pattern
Verbal abuse may not be as obvious as you think. It doesn’t always have to be profane. In fact, most of the time, it isn’t. Being manipulative or finding ways to make you apologize for something you don’t need to be apologizing for are big red flags. Pay close attention to how your new love interest speaks to you.
A competitive nature
Many people are competitive. It can actually be a great quality unless someone you’re dating is consistently competitive with you. Whoever you are with should not actively strive to outshine you. They should support you and build up your strengths as often as possible. If they seem to constantly combat what you do or say, this could be a sign of insecurity and an unsupportive partner.
They can’t keep a plan
Some people cannot help that they are always running late. It’s a trait we love to hate about friends and family. However, if you begin to notice the person you are dating is constantly taking a rain check or changing long-standing plans at the last minute, be wary. An unreliable person is a one-way ticket to an endless stream of frustration and aggravation.
They can’t just relax and hang out
Meaning, the person you are dating has to constantly be doing something. For example, not once have they suggested staying in on a Friday night and just watching a movie. They have a fear of missing out on social events and can never refuse their friends’ invites to dinner or the bar. Quality time is not something they cherish. This could be a good sign that they are emotionally unavailable and lack the capacity for true intimacy.
Something in your gut is saying NO
I cannot stress this enough! If someone you are dating does or says something that doesn’t sit right with you for whatever reason, even if you can’t clearly articulate that reason, always go with your gut. Trust your instincts, always.
Lack of communication
Some individuals find it difficult to talk about issues or express how they feel. They distance themselves emotionally, leaving their partner hanging or having to deal with a situation on their own. Often, whatever is “communicated” is expressed through moodiness and the dreaded “silent treatment.”
Irresponsible, immature, and unpredictable
There are individuals who have trouble mastering basic life skills, like taking care of themselves, managing their finances and personal space, holding onto a job, and making plans for their life and future. Small crises surround their daily lives and may take up a lot of time and energy. If so, there may be little time for you and your needs. These people may still be attempting to grow up. In other words, it may be hard to rely on them for almost anything.
Lack of trust
A person who doesn’t hold himself or herself accountable for their actions lacks integrity and lacks respect for their partner. When your partner lies to you about who they are or about important matters in their lives, walk away. If you value trust and honesty, past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior so don’t take a person’s deceit lightly.
A partner may attempt to “divide and conquer” by driving a wedge between you and other significant people in your life. They may be jealous of your ongoing relationships with these people or simply feel the need to control where you go and who you associate with, limiting your world to only what is important to them. On occasion, they may make you choose them over others as an expression of your devotion to them. Controlling behavior is a dangerous sign that they may become verbally or physically abusive in the future.
Still hung up on their Ex
If a person is unable to evaluate why past relationships haven’t worked out or consistently blames other parties for their problems, you can bet the same may happen with your relationship.
The relationship is built on the NEED to feel needed
This tendency reveals insecure, controlling, or emotionally unavailable individuals. They may expect you to check in with them on a constant basis, consistently tell them how much you care about and adore them, do things to make them feel important, or cancel plans last minute to accommodate them. Or they may dote on you every moment, wanting to coddle you as if you are not self-sufficient. They are constantly buying you things or doing things to make them feel desirable, important, and happy. These people are usually emotionally unavailable and are incapable of opening their hearts and showing deep emotion and true intimacy.
Many people see the red flags but think they will be the “special one” to change an individual. If you see several of the warning signs listed above, the question isn’t if you will be the one to change this person’s behavior. The question should be if this is the style of relationship you desire in your life. What are you willing to give up to have a partner who isn’t fully capable of a healthy relationship?