The inconvenience of dating her is part of a single mother’s power. — Robyn Wahlgast
Today’s post is a Valentine dedicated to single mothers everywhere.
Ladies, you rock. You do a lot of things right when it comes to dating and romance. I absolutely love coaching you. And because other single women can benefit from your wisdom, I thought I’d celebrate your successes by sharing 3 tips from some of my favorite single-mom clients…
“After my divorce, I had 2 teenagers still at home who kept me busy, between football and soccer and so on. I want other women to know I met my (current) husband on Match.com, which was not ever where I thought I’d find a serious relationship. It was an experiment, and it worked!” — Maureen (age 52)
TIP #1: Don’t make excuses; experiment and see what works for you in the dating scene.
Some people find their match online, others through social groups and clubs, and others simply have spectacularly great luck at the car wash. You just never know, so, try everything.
“[My husband] always tells me that it was when he first saw me with my son that he really fell hard for me. I hear it a lot, I’m kind of a girly, nurturing person. I take in strays and all that. Maybe that’s not cool 🙂 but it’s who I am.” — Heather (age 27)
“When I was first dating [my husband] he said, ‘I didn’t think there were any women left like you.’ I understood later he meant I am really comfortable with who I am, my femininity. I own a business, and I’m a woman, and I do things differently from how a guy would. When I need help, I ask for it. I never pretend to be an expert at everything. Men respect me, regardless.” — Dawn (age 44)
TIP #2: Show the men your soft, feminine side.
It’s easy to slip into a super-competent, business-like work mode when you’re meeting a new man. And to rely on fake, upbeat banter to ease the tension. But this isn’t a work conference. You don’t have to pretend to be shiny-perfect to be worthy of his interest. Be a lady. But be a little undone.
“Your advice was to be mysterious, and I’ve never been ‘mysterious’ in my life, lol… But as a working mom, I really was ‘hard to get’ with my husband. When we were dating, I saw him maybe twice a week, and I was very strict because I didn’t want to confuse my kids with sleepovers. We never did the Sunday morning, hang out in bed with pancakes thing, until we were married.” — Angela (age 33)
TIP #3: Let him into your life slowly.
You can think of this as being mysterious — revealing just a hint of who you are, each time you get together. And it’s also a little bit hard to get: he doesn’t enjoy all the privileges of marriage and family life until you’ve decided you’re ready, and he has satisfied your requirements. However you look at, taking it slow in relationships is the best way to build a lasting, emotionally healthy connection.
Single women sometimes think that they need to accommodate and cater to the man they are dating. He is so busy, he has a hectic schedule, etc.. Surely, she should be understanding and rearrange her availability to fit with his.
But, the parent of a young child can’t be so accommodating. It’s just not possible. The inconvenience of dating her is part of a single mothers power.
The man who chooses to be with her is there because he genuinely wants to be. And that’s the best tribute of all.
Happy Valentine’s Day!