When is the last time you cried without feeling ashamed, guilty, silly, or need I continue? When is the last time you cried without judging yourself for it? Actually, when is the last time you’ve felt any emotion without judging yourself?
We give ourselves permission to be human and experience emotions when we drop and break something, have an accident or lose someone. Yet when it comes to happiness, contentment, peace, depression, chronic sadness, shame, frustration, anger, guilt, desire, etc., we are too ashamed or afraid to acknowledge or deal with them. Why is that?
Did we all miss Life Lessons on Emotions 101 in school? Oh wait, I forgot, those lessons are OJT (on-the-job training). Learn as you go, hopefully. Okay, I’m being a little sarcastic but if you’re beating yourself up for feeling like you don’t handle your emotions very well, stop doing that and keep reading.
Have you ever met someone you weren’t sure if you liked or not? Then as you got to know and understand them more, you grew to like and maybe even love them? There are key things about emotions that aren’t talked about much. Understanding them will help you appreciate and maybe even become friends with them.
The 3 key insider secrets about your emotions that’ll help you appreciate them more. You may even become friends with them!
1.You are not your emotions, you have them
Let that sink in for a minute. Welcome back, let’s continue. If you’re not your emotions, that means you have emotions as if they are a thing. Which means you have more control over them than you may have originally thought. You can choose them like you chose your shirt this morning. Yes, I get it, there are chemicals and hormones involved which means it’s not quite as black and white as choosing a shirt. But just changing that perception enables you to become aware of them before they take over. When you say “I am sad” you are identifying with them. Consider instead saying “I am feeling sad.” The change in words and ultimately meaning, shifts something inside. Try it one day.
2. Emotions are messages
When you’re able to sit with and through your emotions, you’ll get to a point when the storm has calmed enough for you to decipher the message your body was trying to tell you. Doing that regularly brings a deeper awareness of who you are. Knowing what makes you tick, your triggers, and your quirks is one of the major foundational stones to becoming the person you want to be (that’s another blog post). The key is, don’t judge your emotions, listen, and get curious.
3. You have the right to shift
Because your emotions are things that are sending you messages, you have the right to shift. When you discover that a certain emotional response is no longer serving you, you have every right to fire the emotion from that department of your life and adopt a new one. How empowering is that? You’re the landlord and your emotions will live wherever you tell them to.
You may be thinking, wow, you make it sound so easy. Trust me, learning to get ahead of your emotions will take some practice. You’re creating a new habit which in and of itself tends to be difficult. So, be gentle with yourself as you embark upon this self-care and healing journey. Take it one day at a time.
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Nicole is a retired army vet, podcaster, speaker & coach. She’s made it her mission to bring awareness to various forms & modalities of wellness & healing to her audience. In her coaching practice, she focuses on mindset, emotional freedom, mental and physical detox as the foundation of health.
