Throughout my early adult life, I heard the same advice time and time again, “Kristin, you need to let go.”
“Let go of what?” I asked.
I was determined to find out what everyone was trying to tell me. I just didn’t have the slightest clue of how to let go or what I was even holding onto to let go of! No one else could really explain it to me in a way I understood, so I went on my own journey of discovering what it meant for me to let go. Here’s what I found.
There are people who tend to hold onto things long after they “expire,” a decision that is based on a fear unique to the individual. It is likely that they experienced traumatizing times of loss or abandonment early in life, to the extent that neediness for things to stay put develops and plays out in adulthood, simply because it feels safe. This is where I found myself; and truly, it’s a big life lesson everybody goes through in some form. I’d like to share some insights with you to help you see things a bit brighter so that letting go becomes easier and more natural to do, as it now has for me.
Shared below are some core limiting beliefs I found to be running the show behind the scenes, and how to shift perspectives and feel more empowered.
Here Are 4 Core Limiting Beliefs Preventing You from Letting Go:
“By letting go, I’ll be without.”
Letting go has inherited fears associated with it. One may say, “By letting go, I’ll be without,” but what that really says is, “By letting go, I won’t have that thing/idea to attach myself to or identify with anymore; and that scares me.” We get so caught up and attached to these ideas we have about our identities, our lives, and the people in it, that it can become “scary” to change the way we think, behave, and see ourselves, especially when we don’t know the abundance of positive possibilities that lie ahead of us.
We become so fixated in our viewpoints, we can convince ourselves it’s “bad” to be, do or have something different, simply because it’s outside our comfort zone. Learn to gradually push the boundaries of your comfort zone and prove to yourself that you can live without unhealthy attachments.
“If I let go, I’ll have nothing left.”
This is another take on that thought pattern that is very limiting and will create a very limited reality for you. You’re better off setting that baggage down right here, right now. Because here’s the truth – letting go allows new things to come in. You have to eliminate things from your life in order to let new, fresh stuff in. If you don’t necessarily like where you’re at in life, and you want something different and better, you have to start letting people, situations, and things go that weigh you down or make you feel bad about yourself. (This is a secret to success!)
I found it useful along my journey to lighten my load and donate that which was no longer used or needed. It’s so easy to accumulate lots of stuff in modern life but how much of it do you really need or use? Donate or sell your unused belongings to those who do need them and will use them, and you’ll open up space to allow even greater blessings to come in your life.
“Letting go means change.”
Along my journey, I also discovered there are also those out there who are more afraid of change than anything else. I’ve learned, they simply do not have the courage to do it because the future is frighteningly unknown to them. Again, this belief is trauma-based. Letting go puts them on the path of change and facing the unknown, no matter the route or how much they try to avoid it. For them, seeing change as a natural part of the growing process is key to their breakthrough.
In realizing that for myself, I was able to welcome change into my life more easily. I learned to see it as an opportunity to grow and experience a better life. It gave me empowerment and unlocked me from victimhood. I realized, if I’m allowing change that I like, I am positively creating my life.
“Letting go means losing control.”
If someone was traumatized by control, especially in their early childhood like I experienced, they can make a premature decision to “never let that happen again,” at which point they will stand by that subconscious vow to themselves, on guard, until they wake up from it and realize it’s there. I found that I made a lot of these “contracts” with myself and they were the outdated belief systems I had to let go of in order to move forward in life. Maybe that way of thinking kept me safe as a child, but it kept me behaving from a child’s perspective in my adult life.
There is a much higher power “in control” of everything in existence.
Rather than assume that responsibility myself, it was a weight off my shoulders to realize I don’t have to do this! I began to loosen my grip on life and the way things “had to be,” and I just let them be as they may.
All in all, what I had to let go of most were my limiting belief systems. With that, I was able to release the heavy emotions that kept them intact, I could release control over the uncontrollable things, I could more easily release my fears, doubts, and disbelief, and I could finally move forward with my life.
If this is something you wish to do but don’t know how, let me show you an additional 5 things to let go of, to have a sparkling 2019 and beyond.
Remember, letting go is embracing change. Letting go is trusting the process of life and trusting that the Universe has our backs, always.
Do you have any experience with letting go? If so, please share your thoughts with us in the comments section below!