I’m married, I’m 33, and I still date my husband.
When I was younger, I had planned on being married way before now and having children already!
Prior to being married, I went on a lot of dates. It’s a very different dating world now than it used to be mainly because of social media but that’s ok, we simply need to adjust.
It’s important, mostly for women, to stay in the present moment, to not jump ahead and imagine what you want things to be like because you don’t know and can’t know the future.
Staying present helps with leaving the dating relationship when you know it isn’t right. If you daydream about the relationship, not only will you “grieve” that person you’ll also grieve the fake reality you came up with. It makes it that much harder.
I’ve heard so many first date horror stories, but luckily, I had the opposite experience.
I went into it simply thinking about meeting and learning about this new person. Asking questions, without thinking of anything else but the person in front of me, being curious about how they live their life, and maybe, one day, determine if we are compatible.
Side note: I’d like to mention that you must feel good about yourself. If you don’t, take a step back and do something for yourself. Otherwise, you risk having that other person fill a void within you; maybe one you didn’t even know you had. I used to want to “fix people,” not intentionally of course, but I attracted people who needed my help. You attract what you need not necessarily what you want. I wouldn’t say those relationships were wasted time because they taught me that I need to work on that gap before I could really give myself to another.
Just be yourself! Unapologetically. Don’t give too much information (I am someone who vomits everything I think). Not that it’s a bad thing, but giving too much information on a first date gives you a false sense of closeness that can transform into an “insta-relationship.” It’s a “fake” relationship in the sense of it being a feeling of connectedness that doesn’t really exist.
Shared below is a short list of questions you could ask on your first date.
I consider these more exciting than “what do you do for a living,” but, of course, those types of questions are also fair game! Ask open-ended questions like, “tell me about…,” use words like “what,” “how,” “when,” instead of the close-ended questions that don’t draw information beyond a “yes” or “no.” These usually lead to an awkward silence. Eww.
Here Are 5 First Date Conversation Starters:
- Tell me about your family.
- Tell me about something you’ve done that sticks out in your mind. Why?
- What makes you laugh?
- What do you love to do so much that you lose track of time?
- Where do you want to travel?
Bottom line, don’t take it too seriously. Trust your gut. Meet in a public place. Give a trusted friend all the information you have on the person. Sift through the information before your next meeting! Remember, not everyone is for you and that doesn’t mean you’re picky. Enjoy your dates!
Do you know of any first date conversation starters that were not mentioned above? If so, please share them with us in the comments section below!