3-Part Blog Series: From Victimhood to Reclaiming Your Authentic Self: Heal Your Past, Transform Your Beliefs, and Thrive by Embracing your Present
In this series, we are exploring how we can heal and overcome the role of victim that has been adopted due to abuse or trauma in our childhood or any past events. In the previous article in this series, I discussed some tips and techniques from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). In my opinion, NLP is one of the top techniques to gain insight into limiting and irrational beliefs in order to make lasting changes.
In this article, I am sharing some of the proven tips and techniques that have worked in my life. It’s very important to make this a DAILY practice – I am calling them my healthy healing habits. I notice when I don’t do them, my life gets off track.
Based on my twenty-plus years of healing, working on my personal and professional growth, and exploring healing techniques from Western and Eastern medicine, I created the model, “MY 6 STEP TRANSFORMATIONAL HEALING FORMULA FOR SUCCESS, SELF-CONFIDENCE, AND INNER HAPPINESS.” (HOLISTIC COACHING INTERNATIONAL ™)
These steps include (HEAL-TRANSFORM-THRIVE):
- T – Take responsibility for your past, beliefs, roles, and expectations
- H – Honest look at your current limiting beliefs and triggers
- R – Release and forgive
- I – Implement new beliefs
- V – Value new beliefs and practice them often
- E – Embrace life and remain open-minded and flexible
The first step to any kind of change is to take an honest look at your life. This includes taking responsibility for your past, as well as your beliefs, roles, and expectations. In order to move on with your life, carrying a victim role around is not helpful. The only one that continues to suffer is YOU, and in most cases, not the other person who hurt you. It took me many years to realize this. When I was able to start taking full responsibility for my life, in spite of the wrongdoings inflicted upon me by others, my life began to change for the better.
Releasing and forgiving cannot happen overnight. It takes commitment, in-depth work, and generally, this is only accomplished by a licensed and credentialed professional because we all have blind spots. I continue to see other professionals when I get stuck.
Next, you are ready to implement new beliefs. I always advise my clients to question their beliefs. Consider, where do they come from? Are they still valid? It’s important to realize that progress is not always linear and sometimes you will go two steps back and one step forward. However, the key is to have faith and practice them often and always remain flexible.
I’ve been meditating for over 20 years and created a daily ritual that works for me that I’ve listed below. My hopes are that you will find something similar that works for you too so you can get back to creating a thriving life.
Daily meditation practice –
20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes at night. If you are new to meditation, you might start with 5-10 minutes. There are a variety of meditation practices, just find one that works for you.
Write down daily what you are grateful for even if it is as simple as being grateful to be healthy and be alive.
Use positive affirmations –
Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Use Tapping – EFT –
When you are experiencing negative emotions or if you are in physical pain. It helps with my headaches.
Detach from toxic people that drain you.
Many times, we outgrow even our closest friends. Seek individuals who are positive, inspiring, and who are not afraid to take risks to create the life of their dreams.
I hope that some of these suggestions will help you to start making changes in your life. It’s never too late to reinvent yourself. I always think of Louise Hay who started Hay House publishing house when she was 60 years old, and now in her 90s,’ she is still vibrant and active.