6 STEPS TO MORE FLOW AND JOY

Welcome to the 26 Days of Happiness! Today is day 21. Please meet featured author Ingrid Auer from the soon to be released book: The Wellness Universe Guide to Complete Self-Care, 25 Tools for Happiness, sharing their inspiring story!

Living in flow and joy is a basic human need but when it’s missing from our lives, we can’t figure out why it’s being elusive. Let’s explore a few possible blocks and see if we can’t dissolve them so we can live in happiness.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do you sometimes move through life like a car that has the parking brake on?

Do you block yourself because you are still chasing completely exaggerated or outdated ideas?

Are you continuously restricted by rigid patterns of thought and behavior as well as by influences from your childhood?

Do your blockages swallow up too much of your energy, which you could apply more sensibly and profitably for your potential?

I invite you to ponder the following prompts.

Prompt 1: Lay your self-pity to rest!

• Do you sometimes think that things are easier for other people than they are for you?
• Are you convinced that nobody is able to understand how big your problems are?
• Do you have the feeling that life treats you unfairly?
• Do you tend to speak of negative rather than positive things?
• Do you think that your cares are bigger than most other people’s?

It is easy to fall into the self-pity trap and get stuck there. But as long as you are in this trap, you will be unable to make changes to either yourself or your situation. When you can free yourself from self-pity, you will have new energies at your disposal that will help take your life into your own hands.

Prompt 2: Learn to cherish solitude!

• Do you sometimes go to a restaurant, cinema, or a concert alone?
• Are you of the opinion that being alone is boring?
• Do you continuously surround yourself with other people or are you continuously talking to someone on the mobile phone?
• Do you think that meditations or keeping a diary are a complete waste of time?
• Do you keep the TV or radio on in the background when you are alone at home?

Nowadays, it is simple to communicate with other people at the flick of a switch, no matter where they are. Maybe you have forgotten how to be alone, maybe you feel compelled to communicate with others all the time. Quite frequently fear of loneliness or insignificance is at the bottom of this kind of behavior. Isn’t it about time you let go of these blockages?

Prompt 3: Let go of your fear of change!

• Do you have difficulty facing decisions?
• Do you dread leaving your comfort zone?
• Are you thinking a lot about changes but keep postponing them?
• Are you afraid to change your daily routine?
• Do you have difficulty implementing and visualizing planned changes?

If you are afraid of change, you might find yourself in a dead-end one day. After all, life is all about change, on both a large and small scale. You won’t be able to learn new things, your quality of life won’t improve, and your problems won’t vanish into thin air all on their own if you do not have the courage to make changes. The longer you postpone these changes, the more energy you will need to see them through.

Prompt 4: Do not fear risk!

• Do you sometimes dream of travel and adventure but do not have the courage to make your dreams come true?
• Do you always imagine the worst-case scenario?
• Do you leave decisions to other people, so you do not have to make them yourself?
• Have you already forfeited once-in-a-lifetime opportunities?
• Do you avoid taking risks because you are afraid of possible dangers or failures?

Maybe you grew up in a pessimistic or anxious environment. Maybe nobody has shown you the courage needed to take a calculable risk in order to offer life a positive turn. Maybe you are a safety freak and cut yourself off from the many opportunities that life has to offer. But “No risk, no reward!” If you are too afraid of realigning yourself, you will never be able to go from A to B in life.

Prompt 5: Do not cede your power to others!

• Does your well-being depend on how kindly others treat you?
• Do you do things because others have persuaded you to do them, because they badger you or expect you to do them, without you wanting to do those things?
• Do you have difficulty setting boundaries with others and saying NO?
• Do you think a lot about how you can win over other people?
• Is it important for you to be in everybody’s good books, because you want others to think highly of you?

As long as you give others power over yourself, you will feel dependent, uncomfortable and eventually unhappy. You will be dependent on others because your feelings are bound to their opinion. You allow others to determine your self-esteem. You become more sensitive to their criticism and turn like a weathervane in order to please them. Isn’t it about time to stop doing that?

Prompt 6: Rejoice over other people’s happiness and success!

• Do you envy others instead of being delighted for them because they have made their dreams a reality?
• Do you have difficulty being on friendly terms with or spending time with people who earn more money than you do?
• Do you secretly gloat over other people’s misfortunes?
• Are you unwilling to listen to other people’s success stories?
• Do you sometimes feign to be happier or wealthier than is actually the case?

Do you know the difference between envy and jealousy? Jealous people think “I want to have or be able to do what you have or are able to do!” But envious people think “I want to have or be able to do what you have or are able to do, but I do not want you to have it or be able to do it!”

Jealousy, if it is not too pronounced can be corrected, but envy is highly unhealthy! It is grounded on deep feelings of insecurity and problems with self-worth and certainly does not get you anywhere.

If you want to get more flow and joy into your life, you should start with becoming fully aware of your blockages in order to dissolve them gradually. After all, they waste a lot of your energy. And that\’s exactly what you don\’t need!

~Ingrid 

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