Imagine two friends with very different points of view discussing life events – one comes from the heart and soul and the other from the mind and ego. Please meet Clare & Posey.
Dear Clare & Posey,
The holidays are a depressing joyless time for me. Can I do anything to change my attitude?
Clare: Many people do not have the ‘happy get along smiley families’ shown in commercials. Since everyone is on an individual soul path, some will experience expansive joy during this time and some a sense of dread. You asked if you could change your attitude and the answer is YES. Changing a belief or attitude takes conscious awareness, desire, and kindness to yourself. From the soul’s point of view, you are recognizing it is time to let go of any blame, victimhood or old story, which is and has been controlling your mind.
Your soul message: As you begin to change, the outer world will look the same – you will still see and feel all the issues that have bothered you. However, when you begin to make your attitude adjustment and change your inner world (by forgiveness and acceptance), you will see and feel a different sense of the world around you. You will be allowing and neutral to what has bothered you before. You are the only one who can change the old outer view to a revised inner perspective. This takes work and dedication to catch yourself each time a joyless moment hits you.
Try this: Ask your guidance why depression rules your heart and ask to change it – be persistent! The more frequently you are aware of your soul’s desire to change, the deeper the seed of change is planted. When you hit resistance this is a signal from the soul it is once again time to tune into why your heart is at a standstill and deepen the changing process. Breathe into the sadness that surrounds you and ask for one point of light to switch on for you. A strong inner soul support system is needed as you change from depressing moments to acceptance and allowing. I am always here for you. I hope you can hear and feel my soul nudges.
Posey: Yes I know how irritating this holiday mish-mash can be. Everyone seems to be out for their own wants, stressed out rushing around, bumping into you at a crowded mall, pretending to be joyful when they may be as miserable. If you want to change, that is up to your soul-self. As your ego-self, I want you to be safe and secure. Staying in your depressed state of being can feel safe in an odd way. You have been successful in building walls of resistance around yourself and you do not want to break out of that particular box due to fear. Will you get hurt again? Can you stand to find joy? Why do you really want to change anyway?
An ego idea: Find other like-minded people and have an ego Scrooge snob fest – remember misery loves company! So put together a group and pretend to enjoy the season in your own way. Stay away from crowded supposedly happy places, turn off holiday music on the radio, and do not watch old Christmas movies.
The outer world: Continue to blame the outer world. Your feelings of seasonal depression have several layers. Perhaps it was not getting that bike/baseball/doll you had your eyes set on when you were nine and then blaming your dad? Was he really to blame or did something else (that was never revealed) ruin the day for you? You can blame others for your misery – friends, society, job, children, etc. It is always your choice – to change or stay the same. I vote for somewhere in the middle because I as your ego do not want you to suffer, I just do not enjoy the constant exertion and mind-bending heart opening exercises of change. They are scary for me. Good luck.