In my 10 years’ experience as an angel intuitive, I have noticed one common theme amongst my clients, and that is the difficulties that exist in relationships between men and women.
The piece that most clearly stands out for me as being the cause is the lack of vulnerability most women show and how most aren’t being clear in communicating with their male partners. And for men, it is a desire to understand and be supported by their partners better.
In both cases, I rely on my angels to examine the most prevalent issue that causes my clients’ relationships to go wrong. Common situations that bring women to me seeking guidance are related to their divorce and their new boyfriends, and with men, it is their need to “make it work” with their wives. Issues that men complain about are their wives are “too demanding” and “not emotionally accessible enough.” So, based on these complaints, it becomes my challenge to help both men and women try to see eye-to-eye in their goals to stay married.
So that they might dig deeper as a team, I work with women one-on-one and identify their pattern of not being vulnerable and pushing their partners away.
Working with the angels, we examine that men genuinely want to be in their wives’ hearts more than any other place in the world acknowledging that women sometimes have issues with control that contribute to their hardships.
In my work, I counsel most couples to break free from their addictions to controlling their vulnerability. I counsel each party to work through insecurities and to share events that took place in their lives starting with sharing their day and allowing each other in. “I had a hard day, I felt stressed at work and feel underappreciated. It didn’t occur to me to tell you that and to ask you for help with the kids tonight because I was afraid you would perceive me as weak. Instead, I chose to parade around the kitchen feeling resentful falsely believing that it was a practical way of coping with stress.”
Through the process of healing, I support the women to examine their behavior consciously, while tracing their need for control when it first developed. In one case, a woman who I’ll name Jennifer revealed how she used to rely on this “addiction” of controlling her vulnerability as a method of coping with her alcoholic father. “As a kid, I used to feel like I had to walk on eggshells around him. We never knew what would set my dad off and we knew we couldn’t really be kids around him.” Going back to her childhood, she then revealed how this method of coping turned into a pattern that she now carries with her husband. “I do the same thing around John. I pretend things are fine when they aren’t out of fear of what could go wrong.” Jennifer is faced with the fears still present in her as a repercussion of her childhood. The vivid description used to examine her patterns reveals how her coping methods developed: “But it got worse once we got married. My ability to open my heart to him got progressively less.”
What she finally needed to do in order to go deeper with her partner, was to heal the wound from her childhood so that she could finally be more emotionally available to her husband.
The angels successfully showed me the area that she needed healing with by tracing it back to how the control issue developed. Once we examined the root, she began to understand it and acknowledge it and opened up to a new awareness. Her relationship began to show improvement and became stronger.
Men can also be addicted to control. The angels have effectively shared with me their insights into how men dull what they observe and remember about women. This is an attempt to hide how invested in the relationship they truly are. And I’ve had men provide support for this reasoning too. One such person, I’ll name Keith shared “I wake up every day and shoot fingers while looking at myself in the mirror say, don’t be creepy, don’t be a stalker. It’s because I don’t want women to know I remember the little things they do, or what they were wearing on our first date. I’m afraid she’ll think I’m a stalker.”
Men control their vulnerability too. They conceal what they observe in women.
For example, they make their sacrifices to women quietly, but often without any thanks in return. Instead of doing what I call, “leaning into their partner” for support and comfort, men tend to rely on the “I’m strong and invincible” disguise pretending to be unaffected by pain, which in effect, reduces the love connection, and makes each partner progressively more controlling.
I have observed how both genders use different modes for controlling their vulnerability to conceal how invested they both are. This causes each partner to feel that they must control what they can, including their love in relation to each other. “My husband expects me to praise him for the work that he does at his job, but my job is important as well.” What Jennifer fails to realize, is that in addition to her job at work, she has another job to do with her man. I clarify for her what supporting him, nurturing him, acknowledging, appreciating, and affirming him looks like instead of using other methods of dealing with him when he leans in. I encourage her to do her job with her partner in making him feel like the hero instead of controlling her support.
In my attempts to work with my clients, I use different methods of angel counseling to bring their awareness up to speed. I explore what causes women to shut down and I use partner work to support each person to lean in into each another instead of hiding. This allows couples to open up emotionally and physically by acknowledging each partner’s true intentions and investments in one another to support vulnerability within each other.
Through the guidance of angels and a willingness to follow my strategies, the relationships between men and women can become stronger.