Authentic Life

Authentic Life
I have been sitting here staring at my computer screen for the better part of an hour. Words banging around in my mind, all begging for a chance of release. I can’t seem to make up my mind on which ones to pluck out and commit to sentences. They are all good words, all good thoughts and each would make a great blog post. But, alas, nothing feels right. I’ve been going in circles, driving myself crazy. The pressing urge to write, strong, but, the flow of thought nothing more than a slight trickle.Writing is something one does not force. If you have to force it – it wasn’t meant to be.Lightbulb.

Writing and life are often very much the same.

You can’t force things to happen and expect them to flow naturally. You can’t exhibit control over something that needs to grow and garner strength organically. You can’t force life to bring Prince Charming into your world any more than you can force Old Man winter to stop dumping mass amounts of snow on your driveway. You can’t force someone to behave as you want them to. You can’t force someone to take your advice or see the wisdom in your words. You can’t force things that need to happen authentically and in their own time.

But, we try. Making ourselves crazy in the process. 

I changed locations in my house. Switched to Green Tea. Wandered around outside in 40 mph winds and subarctic weather. My stomach started to clench. I wanted to write. I needed to write. If I don’t write for long periods of time I get cranky. However, I am too in love with my craft to force it. It’s not fair to my muses. Not fair to my readers. Doesn’t honor my soul.Doesn’t mean that I don’t slip up every now and again. Shit, I found myself writing about what I made for dinner. No one cares about that. No one needs to know that. So, I click the shiny red button that says “DELETE” and decided to do something else for a while.We live in an “instant gratification” world. There are price tags on just about anything and everything you want and have to have. Women don’t want to wait for Mr. Right. So they settle for Mr. Right Now and suffer the consequences. I was reading a post on Facebook the other day about a woman who was forcing her fiancé to re-propose to her on Valentine’s Day because she didn’t like how he did it the first time. Not natural. Not spontaneous. Not real.

Have you ever tried to fit into a pair of pants that were three sizes too small? You lay down, suck it in, push, pull, cry, lament at the injustice and still force them on. You can’t breathe. You can’t move. It’s uncomfortable. Looks like hell, too. Life is just like that. You want the pants to fit, do the work to make them fit. You want to find love, get out there and meet people but let it go from there. You can’t force someone to love you. You can’t force someone to be what you want either. If they aren’t – let them go. Forcing love isn’t natural.

Forcing ourselves to fit into someone else’s idea of perfect isn’t natural.
Selling ourselves out, ignoring what is important to us; our beliefs, hopes and dreams in order to be accepted in families, friendships or relationships isn’t natural either. Stop trying to force yourself to change for anyone else. It’s a dishonor to your soul, your life and your destiny.It’s okay to be a force of nature, as long as, you aren’t forcing your nature on the situation. I can move mountains. But, only mine. It’s not my job to do that for others. They won’t learn that way. I can support them. I can challenge them. What I don’t have the right to do is force them beyond themselves until they are ready.In fact, this was a lesson I learned myself just this week. I saw someone I love and care about struggling. My perception was they were avoiding facing something that, in my opinion, needed to be faced and dealt with. It wasn’t my place to force them to face it. Wasn’t my place to demand they do more than simply cope. I was coming from a place of love but it was my fear, my emotions driving my actions. I had to pull back. Reevaluate. Then, apologize. Epiphanies can’t be forced. People can’t, shouldn’t – be forced to deal with something because we think they must. Maybe they do eventually. Maybe they don’t. All we can do is love them or walk away.

Maybe this was the reason my words were struggling to form tonight. I needed to really appreciate the lesson of this. I needed to try a bunch of different things, change locations, drinks and take a walk in order to allow things to flow naturally on their own. I needed to revisit what happened this week when someone I loved didn’t act the way I needed them to. I needed to fully absorb that in order for life to be an honest and authentic experience – it needs to flow naturally – for everyone. Myself included.

Never force yourself into a mold. Never force life to bend until it breaks. Honor the spirit within you and allow yourself to flow.

Let go and fly free.