Fifty years ago, a major problem was brought to my attention through a single, shocking experience. My husband, who had consciously conceived our infant with me, came home one day to announce “I’m not ready to be a father. I’m leaving you.” While this situation is enough to cause anyone to feel angry, I was […]
Emotional Mastery: Key to Changing Your World! Read More »
In our last post, we looked at why children don’t receive the help they need to outgrow manipulation. We’re following the thread that explores the idea that human beings are designed to outgrow manipulation by adulthood. When children don’t receive this help, they can’t outgrow it. This month, we’re looking at the things that block
Ending Manipulation: What Blocks and Supports Us in Ending Manipulation Read More »
Pogo says, “We Have Met the Enemy; and the Enemy is Us” Our last post discussed how manipulation begins, stating that we are “all born manipulative” because as infants we do not have a sufficiently developed brain or body to accomplish filling our needs on our own. That means we all need an “agent,” a
Ending Manipulation: The Enemy is Us Read More »
This is the third installment of the series excerpting “Ending Manipulation.” Previously, we introduced you to manipulation and talked about what manipulation is and is not. It is not a mental illness, but a pattern of interaction between people. Now we’ll talk more about how that pattern gets started and its purpose, which will lend
Ending Manipulation: Why Do People Manipulate? Read More »
The first few years of my life, parents were predominantly absent. My sister became both my “mother” and my taskmaster. To achieve anything then, I had to make a lot of effort. Everything I did involved obeying and keeping up with someone two years older. When talking ages two and four, that’s a big, challenging
Achieve Through FLOW: Unblock Emotions Read More »
Previously, we introduced you to manipulation, sharing how everyone is born manipulative, how my journey to understand manipulation began (me discovering my own manipulation, of which I had been totally unaware), and the discovery of The First Law of Manipulation, “It takes one to know one.” This month, we look closer at manipulation to get
Ending Manipulation: Manipulation is Not a Mental Illness Read More »
What is manipulation? Everybody manipulates, right? I always thought “Not me!” Then I discovered how I had been manipulating my young husband, starting my hunt to understand and stop manipulation. My latest book is focused on Ending Manipulation, sharing what I’ve learned. Here, I share excerpts. I want to hear your stories about manipulation, so
Ending Manipulation Read More »
Years ago, I took an intensive family therapy course, which involved me (the learning family therapist) being observed through a two-way mirror, while simultaneously being a therapist for a family and receiving verbal input through an earbud. Communication was, of course, a big issue for family therapists, who needed to communicate clearly themselves and also
Communicate Better Read More »
Over 30 years ago, Dr. Shad Helmstetter published his book, “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself.” Since then, people everywhere have become aware of “self-talk,” which describes the process in which we all engage, of having an internal dialogue with ourselves regarding what is happening in our lives. Usually, and unless we become
Things to Stop Saying to Yourself and Why Read More »
“Depression Peach Cobbler” is what she called it. She made and delivered it to a dozen neighbors all up and down the street after four months of pandemic sheltering. It was one of my 14-year-old granddaughter’s acts of random kindness during the summer of 2020. It actually was a depression era recipe my granddaughter and
3 Benefits of Random Acts of Kindness Read More »
