Better Your Mental Health: Get Out and Socialize

The Wellness Universe supports wellness holistically.

We know supporting mental health is a foundation for a healthy life filled with wellness. As we expand on the self-help points from the article Ways to Better Mental Health Drug and Doctor-Free, this week we will discuss some of the benefits of getting out to socialize.

We thank Ilene Dillon for her contribution to this article.

Ilene Dillon is “The Emotional Pro.” For 50 years, Ilene researched everything she could to discover where emotions come from, how to work with them, and whether they can, indeed, be tamed. Her book, Emotions in Motion: Mastering Life’s Built-in Navigation System, will be released in August 2019. Using nothing but emotions, ancient universal principles, and imagination, Ilene has helped individuals disengage themselves as “the child of the devil,” sell their specialty houseboat, and also have their stolen laptop returned within 5 hours. Ilene can help you make your world a much better place!

Who hasn’t been told by people who care that it’s important to get out and socialize?

Spending time with others can be loving, nurturing, supportive, and stimulating. From our earliest moments, we experience life as being both “with others” and “with ourselves.” We need to interact with others; it’s vital to our survival and well-being.

When we speak of “positive mental health,” we are talking about living in a state of balance, psychologically, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Since people are energy beings, and we exchange energy when we interact with others, then going out to socialize means “go exchange energy with others.” What are some of the benefits we seek when we make this exchange?

Here Are 5 Key Benefits of Getting Out to Socialize

1.            Change of routine

We, humans, are creatures of habit. It’s easy to follow the same routines around sleep, work, activity, and play. Just walking out the door to spend time with others opens us to a change in these routines. As we age, people tend to lose flexibility. One reason is that we develop habits that are repeated throughout life that exercise only part of us, allowing other parts to atrophy or harden. Going out to socialize is not as predictable as staying home with our own routines. Changing habits through socializing helps us remain flexible.

2.            Opportunities to walk in another’s moccasins

All of us humans are in school, having experiences (accompanied by emotions) that jostle us in some way, offering us opportunities to learn and grow. What if we can explore the experiences of many people, instead of just our own? Such learning and growth happen more quickly, often with less challenge and pain, too, when we go out and socialize. We encounter the experiences and reactions of others, allowing us to walk in their moccasins for a time, learning from their point of view. We can even disagree with what others do in reaction to their experiences and still learn for ourselves. The more we learn, the faster and more completely we grow.

3.            Feedback

“Bumping up against others,” as we do when we socialize, automatically offers feedback. No matter what we do when we go out to socialize, we obtain feedback. Spending time as a wallflower still brings feedback. We find out if we feel good as a wallflower, observe others who are not wallflowers and the reactions their behavior stimulates. We’re inspired to imagine ourselves not being a wallflower, along with possible outcomes for changing our own behavior. Regardless of who we’re with or what role we play during our socializing, we get feedback from ourselves and from others. Earth is uniquely designed to give feedback quickly, enabling us to grow by fine-tuning our choices and behaviors. If we like the feedback, we can continue; if we don’t like it, we have the opportunity (and models) for change.

4.            Opportunities to experiment and grow

When I learned that being shy is a state of extreme self-absorption, I stopped being okay with my shyness. Heading out for a party, I decided to explore a different way of behaving. As a shy person, I held back, especially with men, fearful of what others would think of me. For this experiment, I reminded myself that all humans seek energy, which comes in the form of attention. I reasoned that people I met would not be thinking about me, but would be focused on getting energy for themselves.

During the party, I singled out three different men, making sure to give them my attention. The party was so crowded, I could only do this with my eyes. When I caught the man’s gaze, I held it, rather than looking away immediately, as I normally would do. The result? Three invitations to go out. Each man told me how much he had noticed me, citing each instance when I noticed him. Going out to socialize gave me an opportunity to experiment with a new way of being, get immediate feedback, and, if I wanted, opened new doors for relating!

5.            We get “fresh energy”

As energy beings, we are enhanced by the new bits of energy we get from outside of our own life’s path. How excited are you when you’re offered a new way to do something you enjoy? With others, we can discover new ways to utilize computer programs and smartphones, get information about financial investing and tips on cooking, be offered new views on current events, hear about friends, learn better ways to parent or discover a discount travel resource. With others, we get energy that is “fresh” to us. We also pick up fresh energy we don’t realize we’re receiving, like emotional energy (sadness, anger, joy, fear) or spiritual energy (peacefulness). Fresh energy compounds when we socialize in groups with a specific focus, (e.g. religious or spiritual groups), those formed around specific interests, and groups created for sports or play.

All of these wonderful things that enhance us and our lives can occur when we “go out and socialize,” or not.

Life, the people in it, the experiences, and the upliftment is a process of having mirrored back to us what we hold inside of ourselves! Therefore, before (and during) going out to socialize, be certain to fill yourself with the qualities and attributes you hope to find in others.

Start by socializing with yourself! Make sure you love yourself in every way possible. Be certain to create yourself whole and complete, aspiring to do this every moment of your life. Listen to the emotions that come up in you and follow their message. Make a decision to be loving (which includes loving you) in everything you do, in every way you can.

What you take out into the world, inside of you, is what will be reflected back to you. Make certain love, support, caring, wholeness, wellness, and balance get reflected, by building these things inside of yourself every day.

When we are filled up with love for ourselves, that love is not only reflected back to us but also spills over onto others and every circumstance, flooding the world with love.

Go out and socialize, please.

And take a well-loved and filled-up YOU to share with yourself, others, and with your world.

-Ilene

*Originally published on July 12, 2019.

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