Do you remember the saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?”
It’s true!!
Whether you have actual children, surrogate children, fur children, a husband… Or if you’re the feminine principle in any close relationship… You’re “Mama.”
Mama doesn’t necessarily have to be a woman, although the role is often played by one. I’ve occasionally seen a male partner with the more responsive nervous system in a couple.
Mama’s nervous system is highly sensitive, and the energy for the entire family runs through it. You can tell your nervous system is out of whack, because everyone around you starts acting out.
Get yourself back into balance, and everyone around you is peaceful and happy, too.
I’ve often seen Mama with gut troubles, too. This can happen when she’s not setting boundaries well, or if she’s ignoring her gut wisdom.
Make no mistake, your family pays for it when you’re not running your energy well. They benefit immeasurably when you are wielding your power well.
In Embodied Vision Method™ sessions, we undo decades (even lifetimes) of subconscious programming.
Programming that often comes from “Mama.”
In the process of unravelling the subconscious beliefs, I ask a series of questions. One is, “What do you wish your mother could have experienced?”
Every single time, I hear answers like these:
“I wish my mother didn’t have to work so hard, that she could relax and take a break.”
“She would’ve taken better care of herself.”
“That she could have seen how talented she was. That she’d followed her dreams.”
“I wish she’d known it was ok to set boundaries. That she hadn’t put up with so much crap.”
“That she’d been able to ask for help.”
I’ve NEVER heard anyone say they wished their mother had sacrificed more. Everyone feels they’d have been uplifted by a mother who valued herself as much as everyone else.
The pattern of a mother undervaluing, or actively devaluing, herself goes back generations. Unfortunately, it can encourage those around her to do the same thing. Or her children can grow up expecting that their loved ones to make similar sacrifices.
The win-lose model is a zero-sum game. And make no mistake, everyone knows what’s going on, on some level. Everyone in a family or community needs to value themselves as much as those around them.
We all learn what’s modelled to us by the people we look up to. Whether this modelling is fortunate or unfortunate depends on how consciously we live. What we believe about ourselves, and about life, speaks clearly in the way we do everything.
That’s how our parents taught US to do things.
And, what WE model, teaches everyone else how to live – especially children. Our influence is far more profound than we know!
Although I don’t have children, I am a fur-Mama. My beloved dog, Shanti, was a rescue. The first time I went on vacation and left her at a kennel, I told the owner I was afraid she would think I was abandoning her.
She told me sternly, “stop that, right now. You’re not abandoning her. The more confident and positive you are, the better she’ll do.” I listened and gave the most confident vibes I could muster. And of course, she was absolutely fine!
In the past, we thought detrimental programming was difficult, or impossible, to change. We didn’t know how to go about it, which meant we swept a lot under the carpet. Now, we know how resilient the mind can is!
Here are some things you can do to manage your nervous system that will affect your whole family’s wellbeing for the better.
- Attract flies with honey by attending to your sound current. Don’t expect good results from anyone with a terse or nagging voice. On the other hand, soft, sultry tones are enticing, even if you’re asking someone to take out the garbage. Once you discover this you’ll realize you can move mountains with this. Make sure you use this superpower for good!
- Alleviate your own worries and instill more confidence in those around you. Alternate nostril breathing is a fabulous tool for calming anxiety. Here’s one way to do it:
Before beginning, take a few slow diaphragmatic breaths without straining. Be sure to continue breathing diaphragmatically throughout the practice.
Using your dominant hand, place your first and second fingers between your eyebrows. Use your thumb to close your right nostril and your ring finger to close your right nostril.
- Close your left nostril and completely exhale through your right nostril.
- Inhale through your right nostril.
- Close the right nostril and exhale through the left nostril.
- Inhale thorough the left nostril.
- Close the left nostril and inhale through the right nostril.
This completes one cycle. Continue for 12 cycles using your dominant hand; then do 12 more with your non-dominant hand. Finish with 6 cycles using your dominant hand.
- Help your brain know your body is safe by hydrating well. I know it sounds obvious, but many people don’t do it! (By the way, dehydration is the most common cause of tummy aches with children. Help them realize they need to hydrate, too.)
- Do Gutsy Yoga! I believe these practices have been instrumental in healing my nervous system. From there, I’ve been able to do things I never thought I’d be capable of. For more information, see below.
- Take radical responsibility for your growth and healing. Modelling this to your loved ones makes a bigger impact than anything else you can do. Model a growth mindset by healing destructive patterns instead of continuing to suffer!
There’s no substitute for doing this work, and it can’t be outsourced. The fast track is to do it with support. It’s not easy, but it makes all the difference for future generations.
Are you ready to take on caring for your nervous system as though your entire family depends on it? (They do!)
If you’d like to dip your toe in, Gutsy Yoga is a great place to start. Premium membership includes a monthly masterclass and 3 short classes each week. July’s masterclass is all about The Empath’s Toolkit.
If you’re ready for a deep dive and would like to explore a custom 1:1 package, let’s talk. You can book a quick call here.
Connect with Holly on The Wellness Universe.
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Holly Blazina’s Gutsy Type Method is an alchemy of the Yoga and Ayurveda traditions, Embodied Vision™ Coaching, and her work as an author, flamenco guitarist, composer and recording artist. She helps empaths solve their gut issues, amplifying their personal power in service of their life’s purpose.
