In part 2 of this 3 part blog series by Mateja Petje, she shares how a change in mindset can change your life and allows you to go from victimhood to reclaiming your authentic self. Late joining this series? Catch up on Part 1!
Series: From Victimhood to Reclaiming Your Authentic Self: Heal Your Past, Transform Your Beliefs, and Thrive by Embracing your Present
Part Two: Change your Mindset – Change your Life
In this series, we are exploring how we can heal and overcome the Victim Role that we had adopted due to abuse or trauma in our childhood or any past events. In the previous article (“7 Tips for Healing Your Past”), I discussed some techniques to help you gain insight and release things that are no longer serving you anymore.
In this article, I am sharing the importance of your thoughts and beliefs to create the life you have always wanted by utilizing Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).
Even though I still use traditional cognitive-behavioral approach; NLP has even more profound results.
I heard about NLP several years ago. In 2013 I had an opportunity to meet Dr. Yvonne Oswald. She is Master NLP / Hypnosis Trainer, and I attended some of her other trainings, and I was so impressed with her work that I decided to obtain certification in NLP as well.
Many times, we are not aware of how powerful we are. I believe that we are the creators of our life. Our thoughts are the ones that create our emotions, and as a result of that, we make certain decisions.
You can change your mind with the speed of the thought.
Did you know that 95% or more of our beliefs and thoughts originate from our unconscious mind? That is the reason that sometimes we may have an intellectual understanding of things we want to change in our lives, yet we keep running into the same obstacles. Did you know that being happy adds 10 years to your life? Wouldn’t you want to have that? Dr. Yvonne Oswald in her book “Every Word Has Power” teaches us that this is possible if we pay closer attention to our words. Since our subconscious mind does not distinguish grammar, it is better to use positive words combined with “not.” So instead of saying “I am feeling BAD today” you want to say “I am not feeling GOOD today.” Your subconscious mind will focus on the words good and bad. If your subconscious mind hears “bad” that will be a signal that something is wrong and you may start feeling anxious and even sicker. It sounds paradoxical, but it is true.
Some other examples include: Instead of “sorry”, you want to say “my apologies”. Instead of “trying”, you want to say “I am getting closer to reach my goal”. Instead of “I forgot”, you want to use “I did not remember.”
Some other recommendations:
- Speak in the now as if it has already happened. (It’s easy for me to have a healthy relationship now.)
- Whenever you are planning something, you want to add a health connection to it. (My new business is successful now because with more money in the bank, I can relax more and be healthier.)
- Clear words like, ‘have to’, ‘should’ and ‘must’ from your self-talk, such as I ‘should’ go back to my reading now. These words imply obligation and resentment.
- Clear “but” from your vocabulary as it implies judgment. Replace it with “and.” Instead, “You did this well but you need to correct the spelling” becomes “You did this well, AND perhaps you can check the spelling?”
- Make a point of consciously using high energy words such as gratitude, laughter, kindness, love, abundance, success, and joy.
Now that we have released the past and learned how to use our words and adopt powerful beliefs, in the next and final article, we will conclude how to put all this into practice and create a life that we’ve always wanted.