“Opening my heart energy allowed me to let my heart lead the way.”
I am a single mom with three children ages 14, 12, and 10.
As I embraced my new life of freedom over four years ago, I knew that I needed a clear outlet for my emotions, my tender heart. My children and I each had our own dreams, desires, and traumas, as well as, a new slate to journey in our life. How do we navigate it?
I decided that I needed healing to truly live my highest journey. After numerous involvements with emotionally unavailable men, I took a long honest look at myself. I realized that I was not connected to my deep feelings. I saw this reflected in my daily life and especially in my children. Frequently we were yelling instead of hugging, we were screaming instead of listening, we were impatient instead of patient. Does this sound familiar?
Yes, I could have blamed my daily stresses, financial status, being alone, or any other lack but was I really getting to the root of the issue? After a total breakdown, I realized that a change needed to be made in my life. I sought help to change my thought patterns and trust my feelings. I decided to change the way I thought of myself and vowed that my children will live a life of emotional freedom from the chains of their mind and old thought patterns. What did this mean to me? It meant that they can feel love, always feel all their emotions, and be accepted and loved by me, and most of all by themselves.
Yes, this is self-love and authentically relating to ourselves and other people.
My life became a slow unraveling of truly feeling. I began to express myself through words, touch, movement, meditation, self-pleasure, personal development, and heart energy. For over 30 years, I was living inside my head and numbing myself from feeling by smoking, drinking, eating unhealthy food, being silent, enduring pain, and feeling victimized. I decided that if this life continued it would result in death or I would be living though not be fully alive. There was so much sadness and disappointment in my life. Every time something went in a different direction, I blamed myself and I was in a hole as deep as the Dead Sea. As I found supportive coaches and friends, I realized that each experience was for my soul to unfold, to accept and love myself, to realize my soul’s purpose.
When I began to step into this new paradigm of feeling I clearly communicated my feelings to my children. I vowed to take on the full responsibility of my emotional needs so this will give them an example for their own lives. Each encounter we had in agreement, disagreement, or anything in between resulted in a greater understanding of each other. When I felt stressed or not heard I told them, and they reciprocated with their feelings. This extended to other people in our lives. I trusted my feelings and only spoke about my emotions without blaming another. This created a completely different dynamic in my life. I realized I can be a responsible emotionally aware, self-loving person. It was through this opening in my heart that I saw that kindness and compassion returned to me in the form of animals gravitating towards me, compassionate gestures from people I didn’t know, and divine miracles daily.
Opening my heart energy allowed me to let my heart lead the way. Following my heart helped me to understand my soul’s calling and to know that the Divine has always held me even when I felt forsaken. All my life I was searching for answers until I realized that they were inside me, in my heart and soul all along. I was not listening to the truth of my feelings and desires. I thought that others needed to lead me, validate me. Now I know the truth is that I was being led by my higher divine self, I just didn’t want to see it, feel it, or know it because I didn’t trust it.
I invite you to trust yourself to truly authentically feel and be you.
There is nobody like you on this planet. As you open your heart you see the truth of life, that we are all connected and loving beings desiring compassion, kindness, and acceptance. Try it today, love and accept your feelings, speak from your heart, and watch the magic unfold.