FEARLESSLY ALONE Part 1 the Blog Series: A story on how to master life by Trilby Johnson
When I sat down to write ‘Fearlessly Alone – Stop the Lonely Crisis and Find Your Happy,’ I didn’t want it to be just another self-help book focused on yet another personal development issue, without suggesting tools and solutions to accomplish change. I wanted the book to help each reader create visible shifts and concrete results in their daily life.
While the first step to creating change is the awareness that something is incongruent or that something else is a possibility, there is a second and often overlooked step in metaphysical or ‘new age’ writings. The more I researched the link between current health issues and the emotions of fear, loneliness, and isolation; I realized the urgency to shed light on this taboo subject, which has become a crisis situation.
Those who are drawn to this book are usually already aware that something is not quite right in their life and they are looking for ideas to create change. They are also looking for the second step – the skills that will show them ‘how to’ create and implement the changes in their thoughts, emotions, and behaviours that will consciously support new choices and experiences. Otherwise, what is the point?
To be happy doesn’t mean you never experience loneliness, isolation, or fear again. It means having the resources to draw on and the strength within to conquer the limiting beliefs and be a winner when it comes to having lasting happiness and master one’s life.
The book begins with a brief overview of my story and what motivated me to write it.
“I want you to know that I spent many years of my life feeling chronically lonely, isolated and unloved. There are sporadic moments I still feel this way. However, I am now better equipped to manage and maintain my inner peace, even in the face of these moments; this is how I know it’s possible to stop the lonely crisis and find my happy. It took me a good part of my life to accept and love myself, warts and all. It must be wonderful to grow up being encouraged and feeling safe. I often wondered if those who experience this in life really appreciate that they did. I watch families interact, and it is a beautiful thing to behold when there is love, support, and harmony shared. I didn’t have that.
For a long time, I felt at a disadvantage, like I was being punished somehow. There seemed to be so much struggle everywhere, and I felt that much of my childhood was tough and lonely. I grew up feeling confused, sad, rejected, misunderstood, an outsider, a troublemaker and mostly afraid. This was at home.
Additionally, I grew up in South Africa during the Apartheid era. It was stressful living in a country where there was a lot of hatred and danger ever present. I grew up constantly afraid and felt like I was walking on egg shells just to survive. There were moments I feared for my life, but I adapted! Deep down, I also knew that this was not the way I wanted to live my life! This fuelled my desire to experience safety, peace, love and happiness.
For too many years, there was little joy to be found. It took years of soul searching, coupled with a strong sense of curiosity and a drive to overcome feelings of persecution, low self-worth, and extreme isolation. I was on a quest, always looking for ways to feel enough and whole and to fill that emptiness within myself.
Now I can look back and I am filled with a deep sense of gratitude, satisfaction, and achievement when I see how far I have come and how much more I understand. Yes, it was fricking hard. I cried many bitter tears and felt, and was utterly alone many times. I was so afraid I would never fit in or be good enough. I got through it because I was determined to find a better way. Most of all, though, I really wanted to feel GOOD about myself and being me; that is what I longed for.
And so, one day, I made a choice!
I stopped complaining about what I didn’t have and began focusing on what I desired to have in my life. I became my own mother/father, I became my own source of love, I became my own ambassador, I learned to be my own best friend, and I nurtured my own connection with myself and my body.
I am not saying that the way I moved beyond surviving to begin thriving is the only way! But I feel what I can offer to those who are struggling when it comes to making sense of life, understanding their worth, and feeling really good about themselves, is another possibility and chance at life. This book is a culmination of my climb out of alone-ness into All-One-Ness and to loving myself fully.
Little by little, I have learned my role as a co-creator of my life. I accepted responsibility. And now, I offer these insights here. You too can finally know the peace and joy of coming home… to you.”
Also, I invite you to read my article ‘’The Individuality Fairy Tale” which takes a metaphorical look at the meaning of life.