These last three years have been stressful. I have found in my life that I can easily put blinders on like a racehorse and keep going. The challenge is, life goes by quickly, you realize how people treat you, financially what’s going on, and you are not living your life’s purpose. Does anyone out there feel me?
Don’t get me wrong. I realize everything in life is a choice. I am grateful for opportunities, and I understand that not everything is perfect. I know and accept all of those things in my soul.
When I decided to be part of a large rep group, eight years ago, I was clear on my boundaries. Because the head of HR accepted my boundaries, I moved forward. I was well aware that I would probably be rocking the boat, but I have had enough experience and enough confidence to set boundaries and walk away if he wasn’t going to accept them.
I remember my first trade show with the company. I remember feeling that the energy in the showroom was off. At the time, I didn’t fully understand what energy was or dynamics on a spiritual level. However, I could feel it, and it stemmed from the management.
This strange energy led me down a path of awakening to professional behaviors, commissions, and overall tone. The realization made me stronger and more confident as a businessperson and as a leader. It was shocking to me that fellow reps were blind to the circumstances. However, vendors would comment, so I knew I was unto something. That blindness made me want to help others even more.
In 2017, the company cut my business in half and added another rep. Companies can be known to cut a rep’s territory to get more business (aka more “boots on the ground”). It’s not uncommon, but it stings. I spent five years building and growing my account base. I would be one of those reps I mention above if I wasn’t aware of the downsizing, financial, and pipeline ramifications.
I decided that I love myself too much to be treated like this.
I love myself too much to have my hard work unappreciated. I love myself too much to be spoken to with disrespect and a condescending tone. I decided to set out on the path I initially declared back in 2009 when my husband and I lost our jobs at the same time. That was, “Someday when we get our s&^% together, we will help others.” And so that journey began.
In late 2018, I took a virtual coaching class. In 2019, I started down the path of building a speaking and coaching business. The challenge was, I was always looking over my shoulder. I was afraid to put myself out there on social media. I was still playing small. Rep companies do not like it when your attention is not fully focused on their business. They make money from what you sell, so it is often considered a conflict even though it isn’t. And so, I hid. I did it quietly, only telling a few people and struggling mentally along the way.
In late 2019, I discovered a mantra, which helped me deal with the mental challenge. The mantra is, “I safely make money in my sales business while building my coaching and speaking business.” Mantras and affirmations are all around us, and the power is incredible. This simple mantra that I repeated, enabled me to move forward safely, and trust that I was going to be OK.
The internal struggle still occurred occasionally, but it was much less. As you grow stronger in controlling your thoughts alongside your faith, you can quiet your mind quickly when a negative thought pops up. It takes practice, but once you have mastered the mindset shift, it is powerful and life-changing.
In December of 2019, I knew I rocked the boat pretty hard with a Senior Leader, and he had my number. I could feel it. I stood up for my time, business, and territory, and the Senior Leader didn’t like that I challenged him. My intuition has gotten stronger over the years in addition to my common sense to do some digging. I discovered lies regarding potential changes behind my back. I knew it wasn’t going to get better, and I was correct.
My strength in knowing that the universe has a plan is what kept my positive spirits.
I still fully dedicated myself to my business but became stronger in accepting that it would end someday. It was out of my control.
I would have loved to quit, but the financial impact of the decision was scary. I felt more comfortable letting the universe have the control and pull the plug when it was time. If you think about it, it’s a more spiritually trusting way to manage if you don’t have millions of dollars stashed away. (We will someday, but it hasn’t happened yet.) Being that my husband Ryan and I both lost our jobs and we started over with nothing, my faith and trust were rock solid. I knew I could rely on the universe. True faith is trusting it will all be OK.
Over the summer, I started to learn that small product lines were being given to another rep. It was a clear signal. The other rep didn’t see what was going on, but I did. A further sign is the Tarot Card readings I watch on YouTube were consistently sending signals in the readings that significant change was coming. The great part was that it was all going to work out. These messages helped keep my faith intact.
In the last two weeks, the Tarot Card readings were stronger than ever. But I was calm. I was also fascinated to see if they would come to fruition. I have had many card readings in the past that were shockingly accurate. My belief in the modality created a sense of peace.
And then it happened.
I received an email from my sales manager, who never has reached out to me, to schedule a call. To set an example of how I knew what it was about is when Covid-19 first started causing a change in S FL, I emailed her on March 11th that my customers were closing their stores. No response. If you don’t have compassion and business acumen to respond to someone on your team about their business in regard to Covid-19, it’s a red flag when all of a sudden you get a meeting request. Sure, you would agree.
And yes, I was correct. As I expected, it was a quick and trite phone call. The call reinforced how lucky I was to be parting ways. I did not shed one tear, nor do I have any sadness about the dissolving of this business. I was prepared emotionally and spiritually. The negative and often toxic energy is now gone. My house and car are clean and organized because of fewer samples and catalogs. My time is open to write, connect with others, and work on our course that launches late fall. The terrible order entry system they implemented is something I never have to touch again. And the list goes on. I am blessed with an ending.
As I close this chapter, I don’t feel any bad energy. I am genuinely at peace.
I am sharing this story and will continue to share it because it’s my path. It’s my journey and gift to help others see that a challenge or struggle can work out. You can manifest positive things to come into your life. You can change your mindset to deal with situations along the way while working towards a better solution.
You have the power within you. We all do. And this part of my journey has just begun.
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With immense love, faith, and gratitude
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