The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.– Gandhi
How many times have you heard the expression “forgive and forget?”
Have you followed that advice? I disagree with this statement and the intention behind it.
If you say you have forgotten, let’s be honest, have you? Don’t you still consciously or subconsciously remember?
I believe we do remember, and we are only choosing to pretend we have forgotten. When we aren’t honest with ourselves, we are not being in integrity with the most important person in the world, ourselves!
I choose to forgive and to choose love.
Let me share how this works through a true-life experience of my own. Several years ago, while I was on the board of an organization my husband also sat on as did a friend of ours. During a meeting, my friend shared his opinion about a decision the board was making, and I shared my own opinion, and, in this case, my husband happened to have agreed with me and our friend disagreed with me. Our friend became irate and stood up with a bright red face yelling at me and telling me the only reason I was on the board was because my husband was. I stayed calm and observed him. I felt his pain over not having support from me for something he believed in and I knew he was lashing out from that place.
A few minutes later as the board meeting continued, our friend, who was seated across from me, instantly started texting me apologized. I told him in my text response, “I forgive you.” As soon as the meeting was over, he ran up to me begging for forgiveness. I looked in his eyes and sent love to his heart and said, “If I did not forgive you, I would not have said I did.”
He called the next day again asking for forgiveness. I explained that while I will recall his anger, I will not hold any upset, any anger, or any resentment. He is human and is allowed to lose his composure, I have also done the same. I could see he was hurting and told him I did not take this incident personally. I told him, “I not only forgive you, but I love you even more for being human.” I meant every word. For days I sent him love from my home wanting him to truly feel that his outburst did not disturb me at all.
Now what happened, in this case, was not that serious. It was an angry outburst, but you might wonder if someone had beaten me, sexually hurt me, or something “worse” would I have forgiven. The answer is one hundred percent, yes. How do I know that? All of those things have happened in my life including children who tried to kill me by burning me at age six. You can read my autobiography for more information in the About To Break Book: The Path To True Forgiveness and learn for yourself the entire process of forgiveness.
I forgive fast and I forgive fully.
Even if I feel what happened was not “OK.” I prefer choosing peace and letting go of whatever the upset is. I don’t want to be bitter and hold ill fillings towards myself, towards others, or about some passing experience.
I am not certain that when Gandhi said forgiveness needs strength, that he was referring to physical strength. I believe strength is needed in facing others with a loving heart and releasing upset. This strength comes from within when you are truly loving yourself and others.
I believe forgiveness is the most beautiful form of love on the planet and I know that forgiveness gives you peace and happiness in return.