In February, we often celebrate relationships – or the lack of relationships. Loneliness, boredom, and conflicting priorities within relationships can trigger feelings of unworthiness and feeling not being good enough. This February, embrace and celebrate the significant relationship with yourself.
When I felt lonely and bored in my dating years, I flung myself headlong into another new dating relationship to improve my sense of self-worth. My attempt to make myself feel good enough didn’t always turn out in my best interests. Over the years, as I realized this strategy wasn’t working, I chose instead to focus on my relationship with myself. My own personal growth has been the best investment of time and resources I could ever make. For over 40 years, I’ve been investing in a 401K for mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. Now, investments in my personal growth are reaping dividends regardless of external factors. I’m able to stay in high-vibration living even when dealing with our stressful, rapidly changing world.
Let me share a few well-being investment strategies that have worked for me to build a solid foundation.
3 keys to a better relationship with yourself
Increase your body awareness
Notice your body talk. What’s happening in your body in the present moment? If you had a hard day at work, notice any jaw, neck, or shoulder tension. If you hear a difficult message, notice how your body responds. Is there tension in your gut, throat, chest, or somewhere else?
Choose to actively and consciously be present in the moment and find your body’s rhythm. Notice your breath pushing your diaphragm down on the inhale and pulling up on the exhale. Notice your heartbeat. Notice where breath and heartbeat intersect. Befriend your body and get to know its language. Express gratitude for this vessel of your spirit that serves you so well.
Does giving a presentation in a meeting make your stomach jump with anxious feelings? Notice and allow your feelings to be present. Breathe and allow the energy to pass. Harness and transform fear energy into the excitement of anticipating how you will feel when you’ve done a good job.
I set aside time each day to be fully present in my body and pay attention to what my body has to say. My body talks and I listen. Sometimes, I might put up with a dull ache for days before finally making time to allow my body to process and release the stuck energy. Recently, I noticed tension in my left hip. I lay on the floor and allowed my sacral muscles to relax and unwind. The next day, I noticed the absence of hip pain.
Reconnect to your inner wellbeing.
Under the surface noise, notice the stillness within. Bring your awareness from head to heart and breathe through your heart as if you have a nose in the center of your chest. Shift from mindset to heartset.
Listen deeply with the inner ears of your heart. What do you need? What unmet need is surfacing to be noticed, held, and nurtured?
Maybe you notice the anxious feelings about giving a presentation are linked to a time in the past that didn’t go as well as you would have liked. It’s ok. Give yourself loving kindness and compassion. Some days our best is better than other days. Get out of your head and into your heart.
Imagine you’re plugging into your inner battery charger like you plug your cell phone into the wall charger. The power is available to recharge your cell phone – when you plug it in. Plug in and reconnect with the sweetness of your natural state of inner wellbeing – your Divine source of power within.
When I feel off track or ungrounded, I pause and reconnect to inner wellbeing and find the flow again. Use your imagination. Imagine you’re plugging in a cell phone and recharging your inner communication circuit. Or imagine plugging a lamp into the electrical socket and turning on the light for inner clarity.
Find your inner groove
The groove is a feeling, not a thought. How do you FEEL when you hear your favorite song? Uplifted? In the flow? Riding the wave? Once you’re plugged in, choose to conjure a FEELING of WELLBEING independent of the circumstances. Maybe a little gratitude kickstarts the flow. Maybe noticing beauty in your surroundings opens a flow of inner wellbeing from inner to outer. Maybe remembering a moment of kindness opens your heart.
What gets you in a flow state? Dancing to your favorite music? Petting your fur baby?
I stretch often and practice self-massage. I like to use the thumb on one hand to massage the fleshy palm of the other hand. It helps me feel relaxed and engaged.
My 11:11 daily phone alarm just sounded, reminding me to open my heart and receive angelic blessings. Wherever you are in this moment, I invite you to pause and receive angelic blessings to get back in your inner groove gracefully, easily, and joyfully when you need to.
Listen for an authentic expression of your inner wise being that is deeper than your ego. Listen deeply for what wants to emerge through you.
These first three keys are the inner work of improvisational Jazz Living.
We might have a basic structure to our lives, but then life takes a turn and throws in new notes to play with. Your body tells you to stop ignoring the extra weight, tension headache, or twerking knee. Now what? You set aside time to BE IN and WITH your body. I especially enjoy the body awareness practice of noticing how my body wants to unwind energy patterns of the day. I get present in my body, observe where I’m holding tension and allow my body to move it through – improv style.
I invite you to strengthen your relationship with yourself by joining me for a monthly interactive gathering – High Vibration Living: Leaders Bridging Inner & Outer Peace.
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Leah Skurdal guides people to up-level their stress resilience to improve relationships. Leah shares intuitive insights in private Energy Healing to address the roots of disharmony. As an inspirational speaker and published author, Leah offers lively classes, experiential workshops, and keynotes.
