To me or for me, that is the question.
Circumstances are real; good or bad, expected or unexpected, they occur every day and are experienced by everyone. Some may be more tragic than others, but at the moment, they are exactly as they are, external events that cause a shift or sudden disruption to life as we know it.
“March 7, 2004, will forever be engraved into my heart. I witnessed my mom taking her very last breath! It was such an amazing gift to see, but a difficult one to receive. Time seemed to stop, my body numb, my life seemed motionless. Death had taken over outside.” (Coming Out of the Water: OneHEART pg. 23)
Circumstances initiate change.
Change is an ongoing and sometimes grueling process. For many, change isn’t easy under “normal” circumstances and it is especially difficult to embrace and endure during times of great loss and suffering. These events can produce a state of unrest and uncertainty; leaving questions without answers, feelings without meaning, and movements without direction. We are simply left asking the question why? The answer to this question will either be life-defining or life creating and will have a huge impact on the future direction of our life.
Change welcomes acceptance.
When I was tangled up in the emotional trauma of losing my mom, it was extremely difficult to welcome anything, let alone acceptance. I knew that she was physically gone, but mentally and emotionally I couldn’t grasp it. I wanted answers. I wanted to understand why this was happening to me. These two words kept me in death’s grip; controlling my thoughts, feelings, and actions. The loss of my mom wasn’t just consuming me, it was defining me.
Acceptance welcomes change.
A life defined by death isn’t really a life at all. I wanted to believe that there was something more, something better for me. These two words created an energy shift within and opened a space that allowed the built-up emotions to escape, move around, and begin to settle down. This was a turning point for me. The realization that the loss of my mom didn’t happen to me; it happened for me. The questions inspired by her death would provide the answers that would bring new work to life. Her loss inspired the development of the Intentional Movement and Coaching Series H.I.T. Excellence and the Functional Core Training Programs; “t” Training® and Tiny “t” Training®.
Death had lost its grip on me.
Accepting change is learning.
Learning is essential for growth. It is an experiential and continually evolving lifelong process that helps us move from remembering what was, to accepting what is, to creating what will be. Circumstances are not meant to be prison cells; they are life’s classrooms. They are offered to everyone and provide a variety of “real” life subjects. Most of the time we get to choose our “classes”, but we don’t always get what we want. The most profound learning and growth opportunities come through accepting the unexpected “classes” as something that has happened for me, not to me.
Why did this happen for me is the question that empowers the steps out of circumstance and into life.