Learning to trust again is a personal journey, as much as it is to initially build trust.
If you’ve been disconnected from people or life from not trusting and being closed off long enough, it might seem daunting and maybe even uncomfortable to open up and trust again. However, if you want to live a happier, healthier, more abundant life, you have to open up to receive it from the people who are bringing it to you.
In truth, we all need each other, so it serves us well to learn how to trust ourselves, trust each other, and trust the process once again. The guidance below, based off of the ways I am learning to trust again, will help you through this process a bit easier so you can be back to your naturally open self!
Phase One – The Internal Work:
The first phase to opening up to trusting again starts from within. When our trust was broken, we locked away a piece of ourselves in our hearts who then became the guard maintaining 24/7, top-notch security. That is the ego part of ourselves holding the door to our heart closed and locked from the inside. In order to prepare that fearful part of you to open up and trust again, you’ll need to forgive it for shutting everyone (and yourself) out in the first place. Whether it was out of survival or from a learned behavior, you didn’t know any other way of dealing with being betrayed, deceived or mistreated at the time. By revisiting that part of yourself and forgiving it, you are honoring yourself, giving yourself the acknowledgment that you’ve been longing for, and re-establishing trust with yourself.
Whatever happened along your journey, forgive it and move on. Did you know, the definition of “forgive” is to “stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for (an offense, flaw, or mistake)?”
As you surrender and forgive all, you actually free yourself from that resentful, angry energy and feel more peace within yourself.
To truly forgive, we will mix in some gratitude because it transmutes another layer of emotional energy and frees up even more space in your heart for trust. When you can forgive AND be grateful for what you learned from that experience, you will see your life and everyone in it from a new, higher perspective. Your life will feel different.
Gratitude is an easy practice that even the most scared and hurt parts of our ego can do. It clears away resentment and allows love to forge the way ahead. When we find gratitude for whatever we are resisting, it will actually start showing up differently in our lives, in ways we are much less resistant or reactive to.
Are you in the process of learning how to trust yourself again, or even more? What are some reasons to be grateful for yourself? When in the past have you trusted yourself, even if no one else did? As you value yourself more, you will trust yourself more.
Are you in the process of learning how to trust another person or group again? In what ways can you be grateful for their contribution to your life or the lives of others? What valuable lessons are they teaching you and what new insights are coming into your awareness as you interact with them? Having gratitude will teach you the value of that person or experience and how trusting again is better for everyone, yourself included.
Are you in the process of learning how to trust the process of life again, or maybe for the first time? What can you be most grateful for about the process of life? What does it teach you?
Here’s one bit of insight:
“The process of life will teach you everything you need to know; step by step.”
That is one of the best things about the process to be grateful for. Whether we pay close attention or hit a few walls along the way, the process always guides us through our intuition and by the many Laws of the Universe. You’ll make it through one way or another; trusting the process of life will smooth out your ride.
Phase Two – The External Work:
Forgiveness and gratitude open your heart from the inside so that you can trust again. The next phase involves taking more practical steps towards learning to trust again and re-building trust in your relationships with people.
As you trust the process, put yourself out there again; knowing this time, it will be different. You have changed the way you see life, which guarantees different results on the outside. This time, your reality will reflect the understanding and gratitude you hold towards others. Trust that whatever good feelings you hold on the inside will be met by goodness on the outside.
The most crucial interpersonal skill to establish or re-establish trust, hands down, is open and honest communication. For one, it takes courage for a person to be open and transparent and when the other person matches their vulnerability, a bond is made. While it may feel a little uncomfortable, the fact that you’re both being open and authentic together allows you to build trust in one another.
The more each person can understand the other and the more they are on the same page with their visions and motivations, the more trust can be re-established. It is so important that both parties feel safe to express their deepest concerns and know that they can come to some kind of agreement or win-win resolution together.
There are many other aspects to learning how to trust again, but I do feel these are at the core.
Trusting again is a choice that only you can make for yourself when you are fully ready. Why trust again? It builds authentic, fulfilling relationships between you and the people around you, and that’s a benefit to everyone.