Is it Love?
Not necessarily. The moment there is a strong attraction, most people automatically think it means to love or have a romantic interest. Though this could be true, there are many reasons to feel an attraction towards someone. Mainly, it’s a sign that we have something to learn from this person.
Attraction is the desire to be near someone, sharing time and space with them.
It’s the curiosity to want to get to know someone better and learn more about them. Of the billions of people in the world, having an attraction is the catalyst that brings us together with specific people in order to learn whatever lessons we need to mutually learn.
It’s not anyone’s fault most of us automatically think it’s love when we first feel attraction.
Mainstream culture has conditioned us to believe that when two people of the opposite sex meet and feel an attraction that it’s love. As children growing up we watched movies where the characters fell in love at first sight. In the storyline of most movies, it’s rare for two people of the opposite sex to be just friends. When we see a man and a woman sitting down for dinner we automatically think they’re a couple.
How we were raised to think about love affects all of our relationships. These beliefs have been programmed into our minds. We are not our minds, and at any time we can change our beliefs. Especially when we learn new information and discover other ways of interpreting our reality.
If it’s not love, then what is it?
I share with my clients that there are 3 major centers of attraction. The centers of attraction are:
Having similar thoughts, beliefs, intelligence, spirituality, philosophies, where the conversation is very stimulating. We can spend all day talking about life, ideals, creations and our dreams with these people.
This is a deep love, soulmate type of attraction. We feel this kind of attraction with men, women or children. For Nature too. This kind of attraction is unconditional and pure, free of any sexual influence. In terms of someone of the opposite sex, this would be that person you love so much that you wish you had a sexual attraction. These are the people you can cuddle with without having the desire to have sex.
This is the center of physical attraction. At its purest expression, it is the carnal desire to want to jump in the sack with someone perhaps even at first site. This is the animal instinct that lives within each one of us. This can exist so strongly that we don’t even have to know anything about a person we can just look at them and get aroused.
All 3 can exist simultaneously; just two, just one or even a unique blend.
Most commonly, an attraction is confused with love with the origin from the sexual energetic center because in our society there is much dysfunction related to sexuality.
It’s often repressed–not talked about and from a young age, many are told this is private subject. Like reverse psychology, this can then result in an extreme–a sex addiction. It’s no wonder pornography is a billion-dollar business and sex trafficking is rampant in the world–these are reflections of the sexual dysfunctions in our society.
Most of our vital life force energy lives in this sexual center so naturally, there is a focus here. Our energy to make, not only love but also art, innovations, writings and other creations are sourced from this center.
Additionally, since most people equate love and sex, it’s easy to get confused and think it is love.
With awareness and self-development, we can begin to heal ourselves, bring our energy centers into balance, and open our hearts to true love. Take time to observe thoughts and actions through meditation. This in which is an example of just one tool that exists to enhance our ability to discern what kind of attraction is presenting the moment it arises… before mindlessly reacting.
– Nikki Starr