There’s a reason why soap operas exist, and why some have been going on for 30+ years. We love the drama!
The intrigue! The “gasp! oh my goodness! did that just happen?” moments that they love to write for us. And yes, watching dramatic TV is fun and a bit rebellious but how many of us can say that we’d actually want to have our favorite TV characters’ life?
That you’d want to be the woman whose boyfriend turned out to be her long-lost twin brother and thank goodness they found out because they were going to get married in an underwater sea-adventure, themed wedding.
Drama is actually really draining, stressful and time-consuming.
Think back to when you were in an argument with your significant other or a family member. Until that argument is resolved, it seems to seep into every area of your life, doesn’t it?
It’s harder to wake up in the morning, you’re irritable at work, every text to your friends is about the fight and asking for advice, you can’t stay focused, your stomach is in knots, you’re overeating and drinking (or not eating at all) and your life gets centered around this chaos until it’s fixed.
Remember that scene in the movie Mean Girls when all the young girls start a big crazy fight right in the school because of the “Burn Book.” If you haven’t watched it, I highly recommend it. It’s a fascinating commentary on human behavior and high school.
When you watch that scene, yes, it’s funny, but can you imagine actually being in that situation? I’d be terrified, overwhelmed, and scared to be in that situation. But believe it or not, the mind is so powerful that it can create just as stressful of an environment for you.
So, if you find that you’re a magnet for drama, and your world seems to always go from one chaotic circle to the next, I encourage you to pause and breathe.
Just take a second and breathe. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Slow and controlled. Let your shoulders fall down and relax. Now, I’m going to be real with you.
There will always be chaos in our lives. There will always be things that happen that we don’t like. And we cannot control what other people do, think or feel about us, it is what it is.
Thank you for letting me be real. Ready for the good news? Your life doesn’t have to be consumed with drama. You can control whether any situation you’re in will result in drama or if it will simply be.
Because you have the power to control your reactions. And your reaction determines the energy and outcome of all that you experience in life.
Please don’t get me wrong, you’re not the cause of your chaos or your drama.
But you are the reason it can go from a molehill to a mountain. When you can learn to control your reactions and how you respond, you’ll be able to tone down the drama and find peace.
Understanding who you are and why you’re reacting certain ways is key. I’ve done previous articles on personality types that you can search for on this site but in a brief summary, because everyone has different personality types, everyone reacts to different things.
For instance, I’m a nurturer and a pleaser. I want everyone to be happy, I want to save everyone and change the world. BUT with that comes my weaknesses of over giving, feeling taken advantage of and burned out from doing too much and feeling underappreciated.
So, I have to set the boundary for myself of what I’m comfortable with.
I need to openly and calmly communicate with the loved ones in my life to show my affection and that I care by doing nice things. But that I can also overcommit, overdo my help, and will need to ask for help so I don’t feel burned out.
Because I’ve had this conversation with them, not only are they quicker to see when I’m at my limit and will automatically help without me needing to ask, but they aren’t afraid to gently challenge me when I’m doing too much. Sometimes you need that outside person to say “Hey, you sure about this?” and that’s enough to wake you up and realize that you’ve been crossing some big boundaries.
And because I also feel loved when someone does nice things for me or does the chores I’ve been meaning to do, I feel loved and cared for. Plus, I give myself permission to recharge. See how that works?
Now if you don’t know how you show love or receive love and appreciation, I highly recommend that you take the time to pause and find out. Because knowing WHY you’re reacting to something will help you come to peace with it, course correct, and set boundaries in your life. This will avoid the same situation occurring in the future, and if it does happen again, you’ll be able to calmly see it for what it is, release it, and move on.
Knowledge is power. And knowing who you are is one of the greatest tools you can have in your utility belt. I want to challenge you today to make peace with drama, get it out of your life and keep it in your TV shows and books.
Because you can accomplish so much more when you’re calm, at peace, and maintaining healthy boundaries with those around you.
Here’s to your peaceful, abundant, and drama-free life!