“A great flirt has only one goal: to spread joy among everyone she encounters.” – Robyn Wahlgast
If you Google phrases like “flirting tips” and “how to flirt” you’ll pull up over 40 million articles on this topic alone. Why do so many people believe that being able to flirt well is an important part of the mating game? In part, it has to do with the personality traits that a master flirt projects:
Those are universally attractive and entrancing qualities, to be sure. But what if, instead, you feel:
- Stressed out
That might well be our default starting point after a long week. Not a very flirty mindset, right? But don’t despair: you don’t have to wait until you feel relaxed in order to get your flirt on. Instead, flirt first and your confidence will follow.
If that seems impossible, it may because you’ve read one of those 40 million articles on flirting, most of which mistakenly confuse flirtation with…well…desperately drawing attention to yourself in order to spark interest. Here are popular examples of really bad flirting tips aimed at women: “accidentally” pressing your body against a man whom you’ve just met; using sexually-charged language, whether in person or via text; and teasing that involves mildly insulting or mocking a man. You may be relieved to know that a true man magnet would not be caught dead doing any of those things. In fact, you don’t need to stretch outside the bounds of “nice girl” socializing in order to engage with others flirtatiously; world-class flirting is much more subtle.
To start, consider this motivation for flirting: People long to be seen and acknowledged. Flirtation is just a playful way of saying “I see you, and I like what I see.” A truly great flirt seeks to spread joy among everyone she encounters. And in affirming others, you will ultimately empower yourself. My tips on flirting will help you embody the innocence and childlike playfulness of a truly world-class flirt. High-impact flirting is always:
- Mysterious—Let him wonder what your motives are. Do you flirt with everyone or are you romantically interested in him? The answer should be deliciously unclear.
- Without a set goal—Never flirt to get something, such a man’s time or attention; that’s begging, and ultimately comes across as desperate. Simply enjoy the encounter as one of life’s simple pleasures. If he wants to take it further, then let him find a way to do so.
- Tasteful—Accomplished flirting can always take place in daylight, in full view of your nosy neighbors, your boss, or even your children.
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