I Now Stand in My Own Power: My Journey Living with Mental Illness.
It began as a result of sustained abuse of all kinds when I was young. Because of this, I lived in a depressive state filled with low self-esteem and pity. It was manageable until I had my child, then it turned into a horrible mess. I was suffering from postpartum depression which was later diagnosed as bi-polar disorder.
For 5 years, I went through bi-weekly ECT treatments. These treatments left me with severe memory issues. For 15 years I was on AISH (Assured Income for The Severely Handicapped) which left me demeaned with no dreams of the future. I was so medicated I basically sat on the couch and drooled. I had no energy to fight back as my partner and my psychiatrist had total control of my life. At one point, I was so sick that there was talk of putting me into a long-term care facility.
Then one day, something in me changed. I left that man who was living off my disability income, who doled out the daily drugs. After many years I met the man of my dreams, a loving partner without judgment.
Through his support and love, I fired my psychiatrist.
Since that day, strength began to build within me. I got a job, I got off disability, I got off ninety-nine percent of the horrible medications they had me on. I found a psychiatrist who totally supports me in my journey. I started searching.
Then I found spirituality. I started doing yoga, Chakradance, energy healing, shamanism, chakra balancing and meditation. I couldn’t get enough. Self-healing began within my mind, body, and soul. All the psychiatrists, all the counselors, all the drugs, couldn’t give me what I needed, what I searched for most of my life. I found what I needed, healing. Once this process started there was no stopping me.
I now stand in my own power, in my own existence.
I am not the label I was given by society, I am more than that. My journey was of self-pity, fear, and hopelessness. My story has re-written itself to one of wisdom, empowerment, strength, hope, and love.
If you have or have had mental health issues remember, doctors are not gods. They make mistakes. Always, always remember you have the strength within you, if something feels wrong, follow that feeling.
If you are going to a professional and what you are getting is not working, seek other routes. Medication tries to fix what is already there, not the underlying issue. What lies underneath needs to be looked at and dealt with for you to heal.
If you have a mental health issue do not suffer in silence. Seek assistance. But above all, you know yourself more than anyone. What works for one person does not work for all persons. We are all unique. Find your path to heal, what will work for you.