A relationship is defined as the way that two or more things, objects, or people are connected.
And I’d like to argue that in order to have a healthy relationship with others, you first have to have a healthy relationship with yourself. I say this because it’s exhausting to keep yourself in a state of constant stress, never feeling like it’s enough. It’s like you’re always carrying around a backpack filled with rocks.
So, releasing toxic relationships starts with one thing… being nice to yourself.
You set the tone for how you want to be treated by first setting it for yourself. Ever hear the phrase, “Lead by example?” Of course, you have. It’s used when you’re teaching others a task or a habit.
The same rule applies when you’re teaching others how you want to be treated. People will follow your example, your expectations, and standards are an energy that you put out.
If you keep running into the same kind of problem, with the same kind of person or personality, you’ll be able to look at what the common theme is.
When I was younger, I was the world’s biggest people-pleaser, so I attracted strong, in charge and dominating personalities, with a tendency to take advantage of my time and kindness.
It was a recurring story for me until my mid-twenties. But then I recognized that I kept falling into relationships with people that didn’t respect my boundaries. And I realized that I didn’t respect my own boundaries.
This was a huge turning point not only in my health but also in recognizing when someone was a bit of a user and only interested in what they could get out of the relationship.
So, what’s your story?
What kind of relationships do you keep attracting? What don’t they respect? Ask yourself, do you respect that about you?
If you don’t, I encourage you to look at why or talk to a coach or someone you trust who can help you work through respecting that area of yourself. And remember, it starts with you being nice to yourself. By recognizing that first and foremost you need to treat yourself well because that will set the tone for how others will treat you.
If most of your thoughts are centered around how “you’re not doing enough” or all the things that are going wrong for you, then you’re going to attract people in your life that will keep bringing that up. They’ll do or say things that will cause you to have to look at that negativity and wrestle with it again and again.
But, once you change that narrative and adjust how you feel about yourself, the right people will come into your life to support that. So today, I want you to take away these very important principles:
- Please be nice to yourself.
- You’re doing enough.
- You are enough.
You set the tone for how you will be treated. Releasing a toxic relationship with yourself is how you start to release toxic relationships with other people and prevent yourself from creating new ones.
You’re more than ready my friend, and today is a great day to get started on the path to releasing toxic relationships.