“Selfhood is my way, an empowered way for women to start to heal, ground, embody and become whole and healthy before they even entertain the idea of serving others. Reclaim Your Power.”
Burnt out, worn out, afraid of upsetting the in-laws or your Pastor, always putting others first, doing everything for other people, sitting on suppressed resentment when your over-giving isn’t appreciated or reciprocated, burning the candle at both ends, taking no time for you and then, one day, BURN OUT. Game over. Exhausted. Sick. Knackered. On your knees.
It often takes a crisis to show us how we’ve been over-giving, pushing too much and doing too much. And I’ve been there, honey. I get it.
The childhood programming, the social expectations, the disease-to-please, the self-sacrificing martyrdom of a Protestant upbringing (in my case) PLUS a desire to share all the unconditional love now pouring through your awakened heart and help everyone and BAM! The perfect cocktail for a meltdown.
It took for me to lose my health at the age of 27 for me to realise my body wasn’t a machine. I’d been pushing too hard, even after my Mother’s death and my subsequent Spiritual Crisis I didn’t adjust my settings. I just kept doing rather than being.
We are not human doings we are human BE-ings
That may be a well-worn cliché by now, but that’s because it’s true. Only I didn’t know that back then. And so I ended up bed-ridden, unable to work or to just be a young woman enjoying life. In fact, I’ve done it twice. Pushed too hard and burnt out. You’d think I’d learn it the first time, wouldn’t you!
But you see, the programming runs deep and I was never taught or shown how to look after myself, how to rest and recharge or how to manage my energy. I was raised by a woman who was building walls and laying concrete patios the day after Mastectomy surgery! There was no room for sensitivity or self-care with a stoical Mother like that.
And so I pushed. I ignored my inner needs. I ignored my body. The result? A diagnosis of M.E./Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.
Recovery for me comes in the form of slowing right down, reclaiming myself, listening to my body, setting clear boundaries with other people and learning to love myself. My spiritual awakening and that of other women who are also over-givers is not about dissolving into oneness, we’ve already spent our lives living outside ourselves as part of something bigger. Our wholeness comes when we embrace what I call ‘Selfhood’. Over-givers tend to feel that thought of doing something for themselves is selfish and contrary to all the conventional spiritual teachings. Selfhood is my way, an empowered way for women to start to heal, ground, embody and become whole and healthy before they even entertain the idea of serving others.
Part of the teaching of Selfhood is to forgive yourself for all the over-giving and those who taught you to give yourself and your power away, to forgive those who took your power (you know, those intense, destructive, soulmate relationships) and to let go of old, unhealthy patterns of people-pleasing.
Then use a shamanic process I call: RECLAIM YOUR POWER, a guided energy meditation practice. I’m happy to share a simplified version of with you today.
RECLAIM YOUR POWER
1. Please do this at home or in a safe place (not whilst driving or using machinery etc). Get comfy and enjoy a few deep breaths. Make sure your feet are rooted on the floor. Best not do this before bed as it can be energising.
2. Imagine a bright orange flower sitting over the front of your lower belly and another out of your lower back on the opposite side (Sacral Chakra). Let the petals gently close over.
3. Go inside to your inner world and imagine a beautiful crystal sitting over your heart chakra in the middle of your chest. This crystal will act as a magnet in just a moment.
4. Imagine a huge, strong golden egg wrapped all around you. This is your safe, protected space.
5. Now after the count of 3 the crystal will activate and become magnetic calling back to you any power or life force or bits of your soul you have given away, have been taken by others or scattered due to stress and trauma. This energy will pass through the golden egg acting as a filter cleansing the energy before it returns to your cells and energy system. OK ready?
6. Count 1 … 2 … 3! The magnet activates. Now a few big, deep breaths in and allow this energy to return to you cleansed and refreshed.
It may settle back in and integrate over a period of weeks. Repeat as you feel necessary. Drink lots of water and take things easy afterwards.
Welcome Home, to YOU.
The time is NOW to heal what is within ~ mind, body and spirit.
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