Revisiting the Past – Part 3: The Variables

A couple holding hands and view from behind

Since we’ve been hearing so much about removing what no longer serves us these days, The Wellness Universe reached out to several individuals who specialize in helping us determine if or when we should reintroduce people back into our lives. Glean from them as they share their expertise with us in this five-part series.

There are so many variables involved in reconnecting with someone.

If you\’re the one who is reaching out, ask yourself what the motivation is to re-connect. Are you looking for “closure”? Are you expecting some kind of apology or declaration of forgiveness? If you have an “agenda” or expectation of a specific outcome, you might be disappointed. Instead, let your opening text, call, or email be honest and transparent. Maybe something like “You\’ve been in my thoughts a lot lately and I wanted to reach out to see how you\’re doing. I\’m sorry we lost touch, I’m sure there’s lots going on in both our lives, I guess but I\’d love to re-connect. Would you be up for a call sometime?” OR all of the above + “I\’m sad things were left the way they were, and I\’d love to re-connect.”

On the other hand, if someone reaches out to you to re-establish a relationship, you might have to dig a little deeper. What were the circumstances that led to your losing touch? Is there anything you need to say to clear the air? If your parting wasn\’t a happy one, you might want to put boundaries around a “reunion” until you have a sense of what they\’re looking for and who they are today. Listen to your gut and maybe ask yourself what you\’d like your relationship with them to look like going forward (or not).

It\’s often a tender, tentative journey back to reconnection with a former relationship, whether it\’s a friend, past lover, or family member. Be gentle with yourself and with them as you navigate that path. 

Stress within relationships is a very sensitive subject. Please reach out to a trusted resource for your well-being.

If this inspired you and resonates with you, reach out to Deborah Roth as a trusted resource for your well-being.


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