Now and then everyone feels emotional.
We may get emotional over the real or perceived loss of a person, place, or thing in our life. This can simply be due to the space that someone took up in our day-to-day routine. And it may go without saying, but when we experience loss of any kind, it can cause us to feel upset, sense the surreal side of life, experience a sort of fog or brain-fog like the world is turning in slow motion, feel mentally displaced, off-balance, or disconnected from all that is happening around us.
Because I am empathic, I always seek ways to offer assistance to anyone suffering. And since I recently suffered a deep personal loss, I am keenly aware of how raw it all can feel and how, by taking some time and space for myself, those feelings can soften.
Thus, I’m writing these words to offer some tips that may ease or soothe anyone’s suffering during or following a time of loss.
Perhaps a loved one has moved far away, or passed away. Transitions can be difficult. Thus, your feelings, in whatever form they take, are normal and natural. That’s an important point to recognize.
I am sorry for your grief dear one. And I am sorry that life is short. That people leave or change their minds about who they love.
The length of time one grieves and the myriad reasons for it is not the same for everyone. Know that you can choose to acknowledge and feel all you feel, and begin even a little bit, to let your feelings ease at your own pace.
Here Are 11 Tips for Grief:
Give yourself permission to cry
Have you ever heard the expression, “Good grief”? I have pondered that in the last couple of years. What could be good about grieving?
Grief can be good when we use the grieving process to clear and release emotions. And though many dislike crying, there are many healthy reasons to let the tears flow. Tears can lighten the body, in a similar way a tea kettle or pressure cooker steam re-lease valve releases steam so it doesn’t explode. It feels restful to the body when we “let off some steam.”
Try not to overload yourself with too many tasks
At some point in the grieving process, it can be helpful to tell one-self that you can’t change what happened. Then one can allow the feelings to flow over and through their mind and body. Allow your feelings to wash over the body’s heart center, or heart chakra for those who understand the chakra system. You probably still have family or others to care for or a job to work, but taking things a bit slower and not piling on too many tasks can help reduce any sense of overwhelm you may be experiencing.
Acknowledge why you feel the way you feel
Sometimes grief opens the door to acknowledging, clearing, and releasing old hurtful memories. Lovingly acknowledge those memories and use this opportunity to forgive anyone you need to, even yourself. There’s no practical need to rethink those memories now. And regret is simply an act of the mind.
Sit with it for a while
I have found that meditation, observing my breath and thoughts, helps me reach the place where I feel utter and thorough gratitude for all. For everyone who has come into and left my life, and for all I have experienced. Yes, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I can choose what thoughts feel better to focus on. I do not have to ruminate on the past.
In all things, seek to understand and give thanks
I consciously choose to say, “Thank you” to the Universe (God, omniscience, divine, presence, inner being, higher self, or all that is), and to each of us, for being who we are on the planet. I thank you for reaching for grace and breath whenever you can. We are not perfect, and we do not have to be. We do not need to control others or anything in the big scheme of things.
Gratitude is eternal
Like the endless spiral of creative energy, we can bask in knowing we are alive and that we have been given so much!
Yes, we learn and grow through mistakes, miscommunications, fault-finding, pain, and more. But we can get through it. It is possible to reach the bright and brilliant shining light that exists on the other side of our pain. Be open to the possibility and allow that knowing to nurture your mind, body, spirit, and soul.
As I take the next long and luscious deep breath, I reach for grace.
We can all honor those who are no longer in our physical presence. We can choose to keep a few items that remind us of them and decide when, if ever, it is time to let those go. We can keep a
photograph of them or a place we visited, a letter or card from them, and place it in our environment to keep them in our memory.
We can choose how we want to honor the person or pet. Play your drum, flute, or guitar. Listen to how each note can compliment another. We do not know how far into space the sound flows.
Speaking of soul-nurturing experiences, if you would like to know what I saw after my father transitioned unexpectedly to the grand beyond, I wrote about it.
Reflect on the circle of life
Sometimes, pondering what legacy a person has left behind, or what legacy we want to leave behind, can help us put loss and grief in perspective. If you can mindfully reach the place where you can begin to notice the intricacies of life, this may bring about some new awareness. Give some consideration to the phrase, “we are all connected.”
Be kind to yourself
Give yourself a hug. Okay, give yourself some more hugs. Look into your own eyes in a mirror and tell yourself every day that you matter. That you are enough. That you are worthy. And that you are LOVED.
When you are ready, move your body
Use yoga, Qigong, walking, singing, or some other form of movement or exercise to bring your awareness back to your body. If you can do a little bit of this while grieving, it may surprise you how it can improve the way you feel and calm the emotions. As well, if you can do any of these things out in nature, and get some sun on your skin, bare feet on the ground, or hands in the dirt, this can also offer therapeutic benefits.
And if going out of doors is not an option, smell a fragrant flower, candle, or essential oil. There are many ways that sound and scents can help us feel better.
All of living is a process in the Now
I know there is symmetry in nature and that grief is a process. Don’t worry if you can’t cry right away or if your grief process looks different than anyone else’s. Things like this can happen in more of a circular way than in a linear fashion. It’s all okay.
Try saying to yourself, “I am open, if only a little bit, to smiling today.” For every moment given to sadness is a moment lost to joy.
I hope these tips for grief have been helpful and that sometime soon you can experience the joy that awaits on the other side of grief.