Stepping Forward, Falling Back

Stepping Forward, Falling Back

Stepping Forward, Falling Back

Do you ever feel like you’re headed in the right direction, only to have a windstorm come along and completely cover the path ahead of you? Do you ever feel really discouraged, like you’re stumbling backwards and don’t know how to regain your footing?

Me too. I’ve been there – recently.

I’ve been blogging for a few years now, starting with my first blog, The Brighter Side of Life. Blogging is near and dear to my heart. Before I started, though, it took me awhile to get past the fear of writing publicly. I felt this persistent pull to start a blog, but had no idea what I wanted to say or if people would even read it.

The inner nudges were so strong, though, that I went ahead anyway. So I started writing, found my voice and never looked back.

But recently, over the course of a few months, I lost my voice.

I got caught up in everyday life, lost connection with self and stopped writing. I had no idea what to say anymore, was at a complete loss for words. It was disheartening and pretty scary. I felt like I had completely lost my footing and fallen backwards in an area of my life that’s really important to me.

And truth be told, I even hesitated to write this post. I’m a coach and for some silly reason felt like I should have the answers. So to share that I couldn’t seem to get it together, had no idea what was happening with me and couldn’t seem to write… well, it felt pretty vulnerable. But the reality is, I’m just bumping along the road of life, doing the best I can. We all are.

So here I am. And I’m learning that when a situation like this pops up for me and sticks around for awhile, there’s a lesson in it.

Years ago I was in a job where I was tasked with things I felt I had already “moved beyond.” I became incredibly frustrated, so I sat down with my boss and told him I was capable of doing so much more. He responded with, “Sometimes you need to be pulled back before you can spring forward, kind of like a rubber band.”

Though I didn’t appreciate his comment at the time, I now see the wisdom in it. Sometimes we need to take a step back to gain new perspective on old “stuff.” I still had much to learn, and now realize I was right where I needed to be.

So in the case of my writing, I needed to remember what it was like to have no words, and then allow myself time and space to slowly get in touch with my authentic voice again.

I’m reminded that life brings unanticipated ups and downs. The ups bring happiness, the downs bring lessons. I’ve found that the key in all of this is to see the beauty in the small things. See it, notice it, feel it, be grateful for it. And find your joy within – that’s the joy that’s sustainable.

There will be moments where all is right in your world. Love those moments. Yes, they’re fleeting. But they’re so beautiful, and worth appreciating and remembering. It’s the memories of those moments that’ll keep you going when times are especially tough.

And when times are tough, and you feel like you’re being dragged kicking and screaming through a lesson you thought you’d already learned, take a deep breath and look a little closer. There may be something else to see in the situation at hand before you close the book on it. Find the gift, then close the cover with gratitude.

Then… onward and upward!