Many of us have become or have almost become living infernos at some point in our lives.
Being angry at someone or a particular situation is a part of being human. We all have emotions and some do not always result in a good outcome. Anger is such an emotion. Although, being angry is not always a bad thing. It helps pinpoint our parameters and prevents people from taking over our lives and controlling us. The problem occurs when we completely lose control while angry. This loss of control may be triggered by how a person was raised, traumatic events in life, and even the chemical makeup in the brain. As each person is unique, it is up to the individual to discover what triggers such a strong response in a particular situation.
In order to help regain some type of control, here are three top ways to regain a cool head in a heated situation:
Regardless of how you got there, you are now in a situation with another person where you are high-level red, soon to be white light angry. STOP. Do not say another word. Tightly press your lips together and do not open them again no matter what is said to you by the other person. This is the moment when you get to reclaim your sanity by simply listening to someone else and thinking about why this strong emotion is rising up inside you and the other person.
When you are in a heated discussion with someone, listen to what that person is saying, not how you are going to win the argument. Hear them out rationally, not emotionally. You need to make an argument based on the mind, not the heart. This gives you an edge in the discussion because no one wins if two parties are refusing to acknowledge the feelings of the other and this can only be done if you are thinking, not feeling. To take this a step further, by not contributing to an emotionally charged situation, you are in fact decreasing the negative energy inside yourself and within the other person. This will allow you to keep a coolness around you that will permeate within, dwindling the heat inside.
Think Outside Yourself
In order to think outside yourself, you look at the situation as if you are a bystander. Take a moment to deeply inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth a few times. Now, pretend that there are two of you, the you involved in the heated argument and the other you watching the event. Mentally step inside the you watching and hear both sides of the issue. Once you effectively accomplish this, you will realize that you have also effectively removed the negative emotions from both you, the arguer involved in the situation, and you, the bystander watching.
Imagining that you are not really in a heated discussion or caught in a heated moment allows you to analyze why and how the situation arose in the first place. By doing this you are able to visualize your role in the beginning and where you could have stopped it from progressing. You are also able to see why this particular situation caused such a loss of control and strong anger inside you. To be able to identify a trigger in the situation changes your perspective and allows you to better control any negative emotion flowing out to another person. This, in turn, will also allow you to control the negativity coming directly at you, which helps to cool the situation down.
The benefit of thinking outside yourself is that you have automatically taken power over your emotions and in certain situations the other person’s reaction to you, which helps to keep you calm in a more effective manner.
Release the Anger
Releasing an emotion is simple to say but slightly difficult to do especially when it completely takes over. In order to release an emotion, you have to let it almost consume you entirely from within to throughout. You feel every bit of the emotion, replay the scene in your mind. Discover how it started, how it continued, and how it ended while immersing yourself completely to make it a part of you. Then once that is complete, mentally create a small ball inside your body and put that entire scenario, including the emotions, in that ball, then push it outside your body. Ask the universe to take it away from you with love and forgiveness and to seal that part of you from which it came. Tell yourself that particular behavior is no longer a part of you and you won’t repeat that reaction again.
If you think in terms of a spiritual release, you are no longer that person feeling heated and uncontrolled. It is an outside entity that is attached to you feeling that emotion and expressing it as such. You are instead the rational voice analyzing the entire situation and expressing sympathy for all involved. With this mindset, you do not lose control, you release the anger and bring forth understanding.
Practicing one, if not all three of these tips, will eventually help you keep your cool in a heated situation.
If you try a technique and it does not work immediately, do not give up. It may take time to develop and become a part of your core personality. There is no pressure when making a positive change in one’s own behavior. Take your time, but try any or all of the tips in every situation that arises. There does not need to be another person involved. If there is a world situation that has you on edge, frustrated, and angry, then practice one of the three tips above. Remember, it is not the emotion that is wrong. Therefore, feel what you will, but express it in a positive and healthy manner that will be of benefit to you and possibly others.
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LaTanya is certified as a Reiki Master by the International Center for Reiki Training (ICRT) in Usui/Holy Fire III Reiki Ryoho. As a fully insured Reiki Master, she has an innate talent for helping clients destress, improve inner peace and promote natural health.