Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.– Peter Ustinov
What if you choose not to forgive yourself or others?
It is your choice. Are there any consequences in making a conscious-choice not to be forgiving? In my personal experience, yes, there are consequences and not only have I experienced them, so have my friends, family and my clients.
The biggest loss of being unforgiving is that opportunities are missed. As an example, prior to becoming a more loving and very forgiving person, I held grudges and resentment in my heart. At one point in my life, I had a bit of friction with a friend and a falling out with him. I was upset and angry for months and months. Then, as I created a forgiveness process and transformed myself into a loving, forgiving and open-hearted person, I decided to forgive both myself and my friend.
When we reunited, my friend invited me to a spiritual event that changed my life; as I was shown “one-ness” and unconditional love, which has impacted every area of my being. What if I never forgave him? I would have never been at this retreat and I would have missed all the gifts waiting there for me that have deeply enhanced my life, my relationships and my spiritual connection.
We cheat ourselves if we choose not to be forgiving, because as we hold bitterness it turns into a spiritual poison that can eat your soul and create dis-ease in your body.
I have experienced this firsthand. I will share my story here to put things in perspective.
I held a grudge against a family member for several years. I felt angry with her and every time I thought of her or memories of her, even when other family members talked about her, I remember feeling very upset. This went on for over three years. I also noticed during those three years that my face became more hardened and I suffered from one illness after another.
After creating my forgiveness process shared in my book, About To Break: The Path To True Forgiveness, I forgave this family member and we had a loving communication. I no longer held upset, anger, guilt, or resentment in my heart and only felt love for her. Pure, unconditional love. A short time after forgiving her, I noticed that my eyes and face had become softer and people told me my voice had changed; I sounded more loving and kinder. As well, within a year, the illnesses left my physical body.
There is one final reason I advocate you choose forgiveness; this reason is as important as any other. Choosing forgiveness means that you let go of the victim mentality and stop paying a price, or sub-consciously thinking you need to pay a price by holding on to anger, resentment, shame or guilt. One of my friends who was often in victim mode, followed my forgiveness process and told me she was “set free,” by the process and found she had fully let go. She gave up her victim-thinking and traded it in for being a victor in life.
You deserve to live the fullest, juiciest, most delicious life and forgiveness is at the core of having the life you desire and deserve. Start looking at all areas of your life, dig deep into every crevice and release anything and anyone you have not forgiven; even yourself.
Forgiveness sets you free and your future will be healthier and happier when you choose the path of true forgiveness.