In our ever-changing world, it seems as though the pace of life is moving increasingly faster, working itself into a whirlwind. The need for self-care, mental health, and prevention is quickly becoming a necessity for survival. We all want to live healthier, more peaceful lives, but where do we go for help? And if you don’t have the extra cash, what can you do to help yourself?
Upleveling Wellness, a Wellness Universe exclusive series, is here to guide you. Glean from our experts’ wisdom and walk the path to a healthier, happier you.
Today, we introduce you to Carol Pilkington.
The Wellness Universe (WU): What do you do?
Carol Pilkington (CP): I serve high-functioning entrepreneurs, executives, and business owners who are in an existential crisis in their lives and are feeling bereft, hopeless, and desperate for deeper meaning and purpose. They have money, power, and status, and none of it, as they have discovered, has filled the empty hole inside that they thought these things would fill. I show them how to authentically fill that hole.
WU: Why did you choose to devote your career to this?
CP: I know firsthand that on the other side of despair is joy, freedom, and creativity, and I want others to experience it for themselves. Ever since I was a young girl, I wanted people to know that there is more to who they are than their day-to-day circumstances.
WU: How does your work help individuals?
CP: The work that I do with clients helps them to feel better about themselves and engage in the world with more joy, energy, and presence. They worry less; they have more clarity and direction which leads to better decision-making and problem-solving. They have a deeper trust in their ability to meet each moment with confidence that they will know what to do with whatever they are presented with.
WU: How can your work improve wellness in the workplace?
CP: Who we are in one aspect of our lives is who we are in all aspects of life. Each of us is the common denominator, no matter the environment, be it work, personal, or social. Therefore, when we do the work to understand our own nature and what makes us think and behave the way we do, it affects how we respond to situations both in our personal and work lives.
WU: What can individuals do to help improve their wellness?
CP: One of the most important things for an individual to do to improve their state of being is to be honest about where they really are, i.e., what they are feeling; admit and take responsibility that they don’t know everything; and not place blame or shame on themselves for not knowing what they don’t know and thinking they should.
We live in a culture that often sends the message that we should be all-knowing about all things at all times, and it instills doubt so that one is constantly second-guessing oneself and is left with a sense of weakness and powerlessness. This leads to overcompensating, presenting a false sense of confidence, and pretending we are something we are not.
The fear of others finding out that we might not know as much as they think we do can be paralyzing. In my own journey, this one thing of confidently being able to admit “I don’t know” was so freeing that it led me ironically to the answers I needed. The ability to say those three words is, to me, a sign of great wisdom.
WU: How can employers improve wellness in the workplace?
CP: First, wellness in the workplace starts at the top. An employer must be open to walking the talk and not just paying lip service to promoting workplace wellness for the sake of the bottom line. Back in the day, employers used to bring in team-building experts where wonderful things would come of it, only to be sabotaged by the owners and C-Suite executives because they did not fully buy into and participate in the process.
An employer must be open on some level to the benefits of “wellness” and all that it entails for themselves in order for it to successfully filter down into the workforce. Otherwise, any program offered will be met with resistance and skepticism.
WU: How can healthcare providers better support their clients/patients?
CP: We are opening up a real can of worms with this set of questions. Healthcare providers need to first have the best interests of the client/patient in mind before the interests of the “healthcare system.” And that means knowing how to navigate within and around it in a creative way that best serves the client/patient.
WU: How can individuals, employers, and the healthcare system navigate proactive vs reactive care?
CP: In order to be proactive, all parties concerned must be willing to provide solutions to the problem rather than merely treating symptoms. There needs to be active and open communication without an individual fearing retribution from the employer. It is important for the employer to be willing to take the time to understand what is happening in an individual’s world and offer support so that the individual doesn’t feel they will be fired for having challenges in their life.
WU: Tell us about a gaffe you made in the course of your practice, how it affected your client or business, and what you learned from it.
CP: Early on in my practice, I was naive to think that everyone was open to doing transformational work and clients would flock to me. Wow, was I wrong! You mean I have to market myself?! I had no clue what I was getting into. All I wanted to do was help people. I was also shocked at the level of resistance people had to actually asking for help. I had to realize that we live in a world where admitting we might not have all the answers and asking for help is a scary thing for most people. And that, for the most part, people are not just going to come out of the woodwork until they are at a crisis point, and sometimes not even then. I was heartbroken and had to accept that I couldn’t help everyone, and I couldn’t drag them by the hair into doing the necessary work that would ultimately help them feel better and live better. It was my own self-importance and arrogance that I had to recognize. Over time, I realized that helping people meant meeting them where they are, and those who are determined and hungry for change will come of their own accord and not one minute sooner.
WU: What is the best client outcome you provided?
CP: When a client demonstrates that they are applying, integrating, and living the universal principles and concepts they have been learning about, it is heartwarming and rewarding. Because once they start to live it, own it and take responsibility for who or what they are, it opens up a whole new world of operating and being in the world. It is a beautiful thing to witness.,
WU: Please share a quote you live by.
CP: “Free will is the ability to gladly do that which I must do.” ~ Carl Jung
This quote signifies taking responsibility for the life one is living in the here and now and doing whatever one must with joy and acceptance (not regret or resignation). All too often, one wishes they were someplace else doing something else, when in fact, one is always exactly where one is supposed to be in any given moment.
Connect with Carol on The Wellness Universe.
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