In part 1 of this 3-part blog series by Mateja Petje, she will share 7 tips to help heal your past and go from victimhood to your authentic self. Stay tuned for Part 2 and 3 in the upcoming weeks.
Blog Series: From Victimhood to Reclaiming Your Authentic Self: Heal Your Past in Part 1, Transform Your Beliefs in Part 2, and Thrive by Embracing your Present in Part 3.
Part One: Seven Tips to Heal Your Past
Do you often find yourself reacting strongly emotionally and many times you don’t even know why? You are not alone. I tell my clients – if you have a strong emotional reaction, it has 90% to do with your past and about 10% with the current situation. If you answer YES to any of the questions below, it’s highly likely that unconscious beliefs are still affecting your life in the present and no matter how much talk therapy you have done, worked on the presenting issues and you might even have an insight, yet you find yourself still getting hurt, getting in fights, unable to keep lasting relationships, or you still find yourself in the same toxic job over and over again.
- Do you see yourself as “what they did to me”?
- Do you often feel depressed, lonely, and worried?
- Do you have difficulty with intimate relationships?
- Are you scared to be alone?
- Are you unable to sleep? Have flashbacks or nightmares?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s time to heal the past, and most of all, understand your unconscious beliefs. In the following series, we will explore how you can finally leave the past behind, release what is not serving you, and finally get to know your TRUE, AUTHENTIC self. It’s time to stop pleasing others out of fear that they will reject you and do what others expect from you just to keep the peace.
Here are some suggestions what you can do to start healing process. This is best accomplished by a licensed clinician, however, if you don’t have resources to do that these suggestions will at least help you to start working on yourself.
- Review your past personal and business relationships and notice any recurrent patterns. Do you often say yes when you want to say no? Do you keep second-guessing yourself? Is your partner verbally or even physically abusive and why do you find yourself in the same kind of a relationship? What attracts you to them?
- Start journaling daily and don’t censor yourself. Write everything that is on your mind. If you have trouble sleeping, this will help you get things out of your mind and give yourself a permission to think more next day.
- In addition, use guided meditation with positive messages or gentle music to help you release unwanted thoughts. I suggest doing some kind of meditation practice, affirmations, or prayer twice a day – morning and evening for 15-20 minutes. Incorporate slow breathing. If you want to learn more, find local meetup groups or local meditation centers.
- Seek the support of others who are struggling as well. If you live locally in Palm Beach County, call assistance and referral line 211 and speak with a therapist and find out what support groups are available in your area or simply visit their website.
- Establish daily nurturing activities – how would you treat your best friend? Some suggestions may include taking a bath, scheduling a massage, or treating yourself to a new dress without having to justify it to anyone.
- When you find yourself upset or angry, think about what does this remind you of? Usually, we find the roots in our childhood or past relationships and if you believe in past life, it could even relate to your past life. Speak with a qualified psychic or medium. It really helped me to gain insight and forgive myself.
- Work on forgiving yourself and those who have hurt you, one day at a time. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, it just means that you don’t carry a heavy burden on your shoulders anymore.
Most of all, remember that learning to love yourself and allowing your authentic Self to come out takes time and patience. Don’t worry, you are human and you will get there even if it takes many years just never give up on yourself.
In next week’s article, we will talk more about how you can change your beliefs and your mindset, and create new beliefs for happier, healthier YOU!